Thursday, July 31, 2014

Complete and Utter (Humorous) BS

Police: Jacksonville woman faces felony charges for stealing sex toy
A Jacksonville woman is facing felony charges after she removed an anti theft device from a sex toy, according to arrest warrants.
She removed the anti theft device from the sex toy valued at $60 then took the toy from the store, according to warrants.
According to the friend who posted this on Facebook, this woman is pretty much a deranged lunatic. With that said, we can't rule out that this is some kind of odd "three strikes" deal. However, this part made my hair stand on end:
Mccarver was arrested by the Jacksonville Police Department on Tuesday and charged with felony conspiracy and felony larceny by anti inventory device.
You're kidding me. It is a FELONY to remove an inventory device on a $60 item? Really? This is why I have no respect whatsoever for the justice system, and also why I think that "felons shouldn't be allowed to own guns after they get out of jail" is meaningless drivel. This woman may be a lot of things, but a dangerous felon ain't one of them. At least not from the meager report listed here...

But that's the thing. It is a FELONY to remove an anti-theft device. Mull on that. They get away with it by claiming conspiracy. That is, quite frankly, ridiculous. Patently absurd on its very face. Yet the law was twisted and permuted to come to this point. Think about that the next time someone bleats on and on about felons and guns. When "felon" could mean anything from "multiple murderer that frightens Charles Manson" to "someone that swiped a pair of Levis after yanking off the inventory control tag, the term is completely and utterly meaningless.

Three felonies a day, indeed, when the word means nothing.

That is all.


Anonymous said...

the biggest crime was committed by the shop! 60 bucks for those things is an outrage!

Miguel said...

She piled up charges. Shoplifting is a misdemeanor but removing the anti theft device and having somebody help her doing so tacked up 2 felonies.

Bubblehead Les. said...

And yet, the Supreme Court ruled earlier this year that a MISDEMEANOR Conviction of 'Domestic Violence" means a LIFETIME BAN on Firearm Ownership.

9-0. Unanimous.

Now I DO NOT Condone Domestic Violence at all, but what will be the Next "Misdemeanor Violation" they can come up with? Public Protest w/o a Permit? Too Many Parking Tickets?

Murphy's Law said...

I see your point, but I still don't feel bad when thieves lose their gun rights. People who steal the property of others are some of the lowest pond scum out there.

Anonymous said...

It was probably the last Orb in stock. The Orgasmatron is out of stock in most places.

I remember seeing this when I was a teenager and howling with laughter.


Anonymous said...

You know what? She got off light.

Let me tell you about retail theft, first on a macro level, then on a micro level (this bint, deranged or not)

The reason I'm in this (redacted) hell hole is because of fuckers like her. Last year, my store was BUDGETED to lose $60,000. That's less than I paid for my house. In other words, we EXPECTED to lose a house. Instead, we lost $160,000. That's the house I bought (a fixer-upper to rent out when I go to my next hell hole), AND the house my realtor wanted me to buy.

This year has seen great improvement. Because of the loss last year, our budgeted shrink this year is $90k, and $40k thru June (last accurate numbers). Instead of losing $40k, I lost $15,000. And my bosses are ecstatic. I lost A CAR (a decent new car or a nice used car) and I'm the golden child.

The (redacted) near where I lived in (redacted) lost HALF A MILLION DOLLARS to theft. One store. Half a million dollars.

Now, I guarantee you this woman didn't "accidentally" take the item out of the packaging, or the security tag didn't "fall off". I would almost bet she's stolen from them before, they suspected, and they finally caught her. That's because we don't stop shoplifters unless we're 100% sure. Not 99%. 100%.

Two false ACCUSATIONS (not even arrests) cost my company more than was recovered from ALL of the stores in a three year period. So, no, there is no question what this bint did. And if the police actually charged her with a felony, I know two things.


And I need to buy the arresting officers a beer.

ngerak setts said...

Of the twelve comments to the original story, ten are by one woman - ten in English and two in Spanish. The running commentary takes on quite a unique quality.