Monday, July 14, 2014

Cautionary Example...

#1 Blogdaughter sends in a story of someone who can only be trying to serve as one...

Michigan man entertains by draping self in 10,500 firecrackers, setting them off
John Fletcher gets a bang out of firecrackers — especially those he wraps around himself.

The Detroit News reports Saturday that the 51-year-old performer's act includes setting off 10,500 firecrackers attached to his body.

Fletcher goes by the name Ghengis John the Human Firecracker. He performed last weekend before 300 people and four firefighters at a motorcycle rally in western Michigan's Coopersville.
Sometimes, human stupidity amazes me, it really does. I especially liked this part:
Fletcher says that over 16 years he has set off 600,000 firecrackers attached to his body. His ribs have been fractured 17 times and once Fletcher says he was knocked unconscious.
Gee, you know, to the vast majority of folks, getting grievously injured doing something is a good object lesson on not doing that again. This guy has statistically broken his ribs once a year doing this. You think that might send a message. Apparently it does, only he hears it as "GRONK. GRONK. GRIBBLE GRONK"...

You know, it's one of those things. We spend our lives telling people not to do stupid things. We all know someone who got injured messing around with fireworks. There's always "this guy I knew back home" who blew off a finger with an M-80 or some other story like that. YouTube abounds with videos like these (Caution: Immature jackass using his derriere to launch bottle rockets):

We know it's bad. This guy knows it's bad. He has learned, OVER AND OVER AND OVER again, that igniting fireworks attached to his body leads to broken bones and pain. Yet he keeps doing it. At some point, you've just got to let go and realize that some people won't learn.

Some people are the statistical outliers that, despite being dumber than a box of rocks, have managed to make it to adulthood without drinking from a bottle with a skull and crossbones on it...

That is all.


Anonymous said...

Well, with that many gunpowder explosions so close to his ears, you expect him to hear?

And my story was of a classmate who was packin pipe bombs in his basement. (he really really hated the high school sign and blew a sizable hole in it every year.)

Using a broom handle as a packing implement, he managed to set off his latest creation. Shooting the broom handle through two floors of steel reinforced concrete and lodging in the ceiling of his parents bedroom and neatly removing three phalanges.

Lesson there boys and girls is when you don't respect the power of an object or an animal is when it mauls or kills you.

Joseph in IL

Ritchie said...

It's "BOTTLE" rocket. BOTTLE. Not buttle.