In honor of Mother’s Day yesterday…Wokka wokka wokka!
Mom didn't have a whole lot of patience with modern theories on how to bring up children. She always used to say "I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids."
So here's to you, Mom, and all the other mothers out there. Happy Mother's Day.
A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"
He answered, "Call for backup."
Miss Jones had just given her second-grade students a science lesson. She had explained about magnets, and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time.
Miss Jones said, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?"
A little boy in the front row proudly said, "You're a mother!"
A plane passed through a severe storm. The turbulence was awful, and things went from bad to worse when one wing was struck by lightning.
One woman lost it completely. She stood up in the front of the plane and screamed, 'I'm too young to die!'
Then she yelled, 'If I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there a man on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?'
For a moment, there was silence. Everyone stared at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then, a man from Texas stood up in the rear of the plane. He was handsome, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes.
Slowly, he started to walk up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt as he went, one button at a time. No one moved.
He removed his shirt. Muscles rippled across his chest.
Then, he spoke... "Iron this -- and get me a beer."
That is all.