Tuesday, April 8, 2014

*Blink**Blink* WHAT?

So, got this story in e-mail the other day:

Climate meeting to discuss future of fossil fuels
After concluding that global warming almost certainly is man-made and poses a grave threat to humanity, the U.N.-sponsored expert panel on climate change is moving on to the next phase: what to do about it.

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, or IPCC, will meet next week in Berlin to chart ways in which the world can curb the greenhouse gas emissions that scientists say are overheating the planet.
They start off the article with a false premise, that global warming is even real. Chicago saw its coldest winter ever, and they're still pushing the global warming BS. But these people are convinced that not only is it real, but it's caused by man *and* it's a threat to humanity. Atlanta, GA saw not one but two ice storms this past winter, but these eggheads are certain that ZOMG GLOBAL WARMENING!

That's not what spawned the title of this post. This is:
The alternative plan to mitigate climate change would involve coming up with new ways to scrub carbon out of the atmosphere or prevent too much sunlight from being trapped in the atmosphere by greenhouse gases.

Known as geoengineering, ideas floated from time to time include dropping tons of iron into the ocean to make carbon-munching algae bloom or putting an umbrella in space to shield us from the sun.
[Emphasis mine] I swear to G-d I am not making that up. Once I got through making bug-eyed, choking sounds of disbelief, I had to check the date on that announcement. No, it's not a week old. GIANT SPACE UMBRELLAS. That's what the global warming crowd is coming up with, folks. GIANT SPACE UMBRELLAS.

That's going to be my standard response any time one of the ZOMG GLOBAL WARMING crowd opens their uninformed pieholes. SHUT UP, GIANT SPACE UMBRELLA BOY.

I mean, are they planning on one enormous umbrella to blot out the sun like some Bond villain? Some magic, 1,000 mile wide umbrella that they'll be able to control from the ground? How do they plan on getting this GIANT SPACE UMBRELLA into space? A thousand different rocket launches? Oh, surely that wouldn't cause more emissions than, oh, EVERY SUV EVER MADE.

GIANT SPACE UMBRELLAS. Just when you think the True Believers couldn't possibly beclown themselves any further...

That is all.

Another dispatch from...
(image courtesy of Robb Allen)


Old NFO said...

Reality... they don't haz it... sigh

JRebel said...

Actually Jay, the only thing I expect out of the IPCC anymore is the continued comedy of errors.

Shane W said...

I really, REALLY hate the cold! I wonder if I can sue the "global warming" asshats for false advertisement??? A nice tropical island all of my own would be nice :)

Dave H said...

You mean to tell me you're surprised the IPCC wants to put a big cover up there?

I want to see them explore that idea further though. How will they determine where to apply the shade? Will they offer any assistance to farmers affected by the loss of sunlight? How will they manage changes in natural plant growth and wildlife in the shaded area?

I'm all in favor of giving them plenty of rope to hang themselves.

Ted said...

Now my Obital Mechanics are a little rusty but in order to achieve an orbit so that the 'shade' is stationary between the earth and the Sun you get a number that is multiples of the lunar orbit. So in order to shade a significant portion of the earth the shade wools need to be multiple diameters of the earth wide .........

Good luck finding the materials to build it. Never mind getting them there

Geodkyt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Geodkyt said...

Ted -- and how much in the way of carbon emissions (Hell, direct thermal transfer to atmosphere!) will launching all that crap and sustaining the EVA missions to erect, assemble, and maintain it? Refueling the attitude boosters so it stays in the desired orbit?


Math is hard.

Will Brown said...

The "orbital umbrellas" idea is an old one, I've seen it discussed online for at least the last 5 - 6 years.

The basic idea is to build a constellation of solar panels in geosynchronous orbit. These rotate around their own axis to point between face- and edge-on to the sun as desired. Each unit provides its own power to operate once in place. As a whole, the design would permit a reduction of a percentage (I've read estimates ranging from 5% to 15%) of total solar insolation of the planet, thereby reducing planetary overall temperature.

Not quite as nutty as "giant umbrellas", but it always seemed like a long way to go to reduce atmospheric carbon temperature effects (a very large number of nuclear power plants has to be cheaper to build and operate plus they actually generate power for more than their own operational requirements - whoda thunk it? :)).

Formynder said...

Oh c'mon y'all. Obviously they're going to launch the satellites or umbrella with HYBRID rockets. I think, once you finish redoing your calculations, you'll find that Gaia-ic utopia is readily achievable.

The only sci-fi where I've seen space umbrellas was in Star Wars, where Lando had a mining operation that only operated on the dark side of a planet and they used these giant umbrellas to escort the cargo ships in and out.

ProudHillbilly said...

And they are going to pollute massively and make major ecosystem changes by dumping iron in the oceans to make algae grow?

Between the absurdities spouted by liberal politicians and wing-nuts like these I've started to think that there's something in the air and it isn't just carbon...

the band-aid bandit said...

Simpsons did it.

Geodkyt said...

Will --

A sparse array doesn't really make the idea that much more feasible -- not anything that will shield 5% - 15% of incoming solar radiation.

And, unless they get ion drive efficiencies WAAAAAY better than they currently are, the fact that they are solar panels rather than just IR shields doesn't help a darned bit with station keeping.

Keep in mind that another name for something that is designed to be partially or fully perpendicular to solar radiation and block it is "solar sail". Photons are small, but not massless.

There are also gravitational effects that require occaisional station keeping thrusts, especially with large area artifacts like this (gravity ain't "flat", either).

Ed said...

So, doesn't the increased solar radiation promote plant growth, fixating more Carbon from Carbon Dioxide in the cellulose and sugars of the biomass via photosynthesis?

Or is that truth inconveniently forgotten?