Thursday, February 20, 2014

Here's One I Can Safely Avoid!

This time, folks, I'm letting the extremists win. I am actually going to follow this fatwa.

Muslim leaders issue a fatwa against anyone living on MARS as there is 'no righteous reason' to be there
A Fatwa has been issued against living on Mars by clerics who say that trying to set up home there would be un-Islamic.

The fatwa – or ruling – was issued by the General Authority of Islamic Affairs and Endowment (GAIAE) in the UAE after the Mars One organisation announced that it would try and establish a permanent human settlement on Mars.

I will foreswear all attempts to go live on Mars. The extremists win. Actually, what I am curious about is how they intend to enforce this fatwa. Are they planning on sending people to Mars to make sure no one's living there?

The bigger issue, IMHO is this:
The GAIAE has issued around two million Fatwas through its Official Fatwa Centre since its inception in 2008.
Um, two million? Since 2008? Even if they started in January, that's 6 years. That's 333,333 fatwas a year. That boils down to just under 900 fatwas a DAY. 36 fatwas an hour, folks. These clerics are busier than the guys who clean Pee Wee Herman's theater seats... You know, there's got to be a point where they slip in a few fatwas just to see if anyone's paying attention.

"Let's see if anyone notices that we have issued a fatwa on living on other planets!"

That is all.


Dave H said...

That was probably a practical joke by some mullah's staff. "Let's see if we can get him to sign this one! We'll just slip it in this stack. He never reads these things."

Ted said...

I'm guessing the penalty for making a Mullah look like an idiot is somewhat painful under Sharia Law

Anonymous said...

If you have too many fatwas against you do they boot your car?

Do you have to bring proof of insurance, a valid drivers license and a current registration to have a fatwa removed?

Just asking.


Jake (formerly Riposte3) said...

Maybe they should change their name to "Abdul's Discount Fatwas".

Wraith said...

So there'll never be any Muslims on Mars? When's the next shuttle leaving?

Anonymous said...

I'm with Wraith, let the terraforming begin!

Ruzhyo said...

See, this is a pity. It ruins my fantasy/hope that they could be given their own desert planet or moon to settle on and party like it's 799. I would even throw in to kickstart it. The risk that they would become the Fremen in a few generations is acceptably small.

Anonymous said...

If they keep up the pace with issuing fatwas, in a few years, they may compete with the Federal Register.

mikee said...

Well, you got my interest in fatwas raised enough to click the link and find the Official Fatwa Centre.

Apparently a fatwa is simply an answer to a question about the Muslim faith, and their muftis issue fatwas (i.e., answer questions) over the phone at the rate of 1000+ per day (3000 during Ramadan).

I haven't been banned from /r/Pyongyang, and I don't have a fatwa issued against me, yet.

Apparently the North Koreans and the UAE muftis haven't gotten around to me yet. I won't hold my breath waiting.