Monday, February 10, 2014

Butter Knife Rattling...

Report: Iran Sends Warships To U.S. Maritime Borders
A report by Iran’s semi-official Fars news agency Saturday said Iranian warships have been ordered to sail to U.S. maritime borders in response to the presence of American vessels in the Gulf.

However, a U.S. defense official seemed unconcerned by the claim.

"We've seen the public pronouncement and we're aware of the press reports," the official said, adding that "they've made these claims before but never executed them."

Given that the Iranian "stealth jet" they recently announced turned out to be a wooden mockup - and a bad one at that - one does tend to wonder just what an Iranian "warship" might look like... I can't help but wonder if it's a takeoff of the "Canadian Navy" meme with an inflatable rowboat and a Ma Deuce...

Sadly, given the current administration's tendency to cave in to tinpot dictators, it's entirely possible that we'll wind up retreating or otherwise doing anything other than laughing heartily at Iran's feeble attempt at sabre-rattling. I suspect Teleprompter Jesus doesn't have the gumption to tell Iran to stuff it, and will most likely send Lurch over to apologize post-haste.

I wonder if we could get Stingray his Letter of Marque if Iranian warships did appear off the US Coast, though?

That is all.

15 comments:

Dave H said...

Don't they have to sail past Somalia to get here? This could be fun!

Paul, Dammit! said...

They have an ancient copter carrier and one of our hand-me-down destroyers that was old when the Shah was there: put in perspective, their destroyer, the one that is coming our way, is smaller and less well armed than our Coast Guard's Medium Endurance Cutter, the boat the Coasties use to check fishermen's catch offshore.

Stingray said...

You think I'm waiting for permission if they actually park something in door-ding range?

Anonymous said...

What's "Missile sponge" in Farsi?

Joseph from IL

Murphy's Law said...

Funny thing is, if something should happen to their "carrier" which is really a tanker that can handle three helicopters, their little destroyer wanna-be won't have enough fuel to get home...or anyplace other than a US port.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, but the theme of Gilligan Island keeps playing in my head.

"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard these tiny ships.

The mullah was a mighty sailing man,
The skippers brave and sure.
Five passengers set sail that day
For a three hour tour, a three hour tour.

The weather started getting rough,
The tiny ship was tossed,
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
The mullah would be lost, the mullah would be lost!


Gerry


Bob S. said...

Why do I have a vision of 5 or 6 guys sitting around the table late one night going "Yannow, we could probably take those boys. We've got Fred's boat, all the night vision gear and that dynamite left over from stumping that field".

And doing it.

Ted said...

Given that thier current course takes them the "wrong way" past Capetown, I'm betting on a short cruise to join forces with the Libian Navy.

Heath J said...

I've got money on the Coasties having to rescue the Hajis at some point during this circus.

Old NFO said...

What does it look like? A rusty old Russian Destroyer...

BGMiller said...

Actually....

The tin can is a hand me down from our cousins across the pond, an old Vosper product I've read.

So a warship built by the crown is going to be wandering around off the U.S. coast...

Constitution is still in commission so she has a full crew in theory...

And I've no doubt you could find a few Marines willing to man the cross trees...

Dress uniforms of course because it just wouldn't do to have some God awful blue digicam amongst all that polished brass and teak.

BGM

Anonymous said...

OldNFO,

From what I can read, all their DD's are from the time the Shah was in power. One Battle class British DD. Two Sumner class American DDs. All three have been non-operational since the early 90's.

They have 5 FFs. (Used to have 6, yer shipmates were responsible for that) 3 are Vosper Mk5's and 2 are locally built torpedo sponges. They call these DDs but at 1,500 t, calling them DEs or FF is being nice.

They also have 2 PFs. Both of them US built. PF 103 class.

I've also noticed that they love the name Sahand. They keep naming ships that. And the US keeps sending them to the bottom. (Operation Praying Mantis ended pretty much as expected.)

Joseph in IL

Cargosquid said...

I say send an escort.

Of tugs. Just in case....

Can't you see their outrage if we mad a big deal of "intercepting" them...and using sea going tugs.

Invite the sailors in for a port call. Introduce them to civilization, and by that.... I mean, hookers and booze.

Ed said...

I say invite them to a port of call in New York City. They, of course, will spend the whole time on shore leave visiting the UN, the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State building, Wall Street, Broadway shows, and local mosques. No nightclubs, bars and strip clubs for those sailors.

David said...

Did anyone bother to warn them about that mysterious spot out there in the big bad ocean where the water is really deep, and ships tend to suddenly disappear, never to be seen again?