Friday, January 24, 2014

Sounds Like Fun!

Abandoned Cruise Ship Full of Starving Rats Headed For Land
A ghost ship filled with cannibal rats is floating somewhere off the coast of Scotland, ready to crash ashore and unleash its disease-ridden cargo of starving rodents. And it's all because Canadian authorities let the Soviet-era nightmare liner loose in the North Atlantic, satisfied that it was no longer a threat to Canada.

The "hundreds" of rats aboard the abandoned cruise ship have surely begun eating each other by now, officials say. It has been nearly a year since the vessel was intentionally lost at sea by Canadian authorities who were happy to let the "biohazard" become another country's problem.

Are you pondering what I'm pondering? I'm thinking something in the belt-fed .22LR family, several gallons of bourbon, and a flamethrower. Err, the bourbon would be for the hunters, of course.

What a great way to recreate the awesome scene from "Monster Hunter," only with rats instead of vampires! Rather than using expensive silver-tipped ammo, you could make do with standard .22LR - or .223 Rem. if you wanted to have some fun. When it's all said and done, the ship should be scuttled (because you'll never get all the rats).

In all seriousness, I wonder if they're going to study the ship. At some point, the food will have run out and the rats will all die out - it's a closed system, after all. Eventually all biological life will be gone, either consumed by the rats or simply died out, at least in theory. It would be an interesting study in the habits of rats in the wild, at the very least.

As long as the research is carried out by someone who is not me, mind you...

That is all.

15 comments:

Murphy's Law said...

I'd rather toss the Obama administration and Justin Bieber onto that ship and give it a shove north towards the ice packs.

Is that wrong?

Anonymous said...

Are they Russian rats or Canadian rats?

They use those wimpy Canadian rats for cancer testing and they get cancer from almost anything. They will die off without a working TV to watch Hockey Night in Canada.


Russian rats will probably eat sea gulls and an occasional polar bear and land on Ireland like a bunch of Vikings.

Maybe Old NFO friends would like to do some live fire practice?

Gerry

Dave H said...

They should have dropped it off of Somalia. Can you imagine the expressions on the the first pirates who went aboard looking for hostages?

The Scribbler said...

I saw that heading and also immediately thought of MHI. Only trouble is that rats are not the biggest targets in the world. I think for good measure some sort of fun shotgun needs to come along.

Any thoughts on commissioning Dennis to make up some rat-proof leather armor?

Anonymous said...

I've seen this story and it appears to be a panic piece. The ship in question has not been seen or boarded since March, 2013. At that time the EPIRB distress beacons went off. It may not be afloat anymore because the EPIRB beacons only go off when they come in contact with water.

As this happened on 12 March the last time showing a position 1,300 nm from the Irish coast, I'm thinking the ship has not survived.

After all, she was slated for the breakers when she parted tow 24 January, 2013.

Dave H said...

A friend reminds me that under salvage law, if you can recover that ship, you get to keep it. It'd be cool to own my own cruise ship, but there's not enough Lysol in the universe to make me want to try.

Although seeing the looks on the faces of the Canadian Coast Guard when I tell them I want to tow it up the St. Lawrence to Lake Ontario might still be worth it.

TOTWTYTR said...

It would seem like an opportunity for some target practice for some military.

Roger said...

I have it on good authority, that PETA has been airlifting food and water to the poor starving animals on that vessel. PETA spokesperson
Ahneva Munchaburger stated in a press release: "Of course we will do whatever we can to save those animals that have been abandoned by humans (spit)." When asked whether PETA would do the same if the cruise ship had starving people on board, she replied that an airlift would not be needed, that the rats then would already have a food source on board.

lee n. field said...

"Rather than using expensive silver-tipped ammo, you could make do with standard .22LR - or .223 Rem. "

Uhhh, JayGee....

I hear tell that .22LR is a scarce and precious commodity still, most places.

Roy said...

"Rather than using expensive silver-tipped ammo, you could make do with standard .22LR - or .223 Rem. "

I'm thinking something more along the lines of a Mk 48 ADCAP torpedo.

Anonymous said...

@Murphys Law: That's pretty harsh punishment. I mean, really, what did those rats ever do to you?

Old NFO said...

Not .223 Too much ricochet potential... Rounds DO bounce around when they go through targets on a ship... Just sayin...

Daniel in Brookline said...

Who's to say there are no vampires on board? Maybe there's a little ratty Lord Machratto on board, protected by his hand-picked Master Vampire rats, hiding behind a newly-converted vampire rat with a snooty French accent.

Where's Owen Pitt when we need him?

Anonymous said...

Eh, I was thinking of Zombie rats a la John Ringo's latest.

LittleRed1

Anonymous said...

ahhh...hm....aren't there location transponders that are small and powerful...so small and like so portable that you could drop one off of a helicopter on to the deck of the ship and then be able to track the ship...
THAT way you wouldn't lose the sucka'....mmmjustsayin'!??!?!

Steve