Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Million Years. Not In A.

Seen on the book of Face yesterday is this shiny example of OH SWEET FUZZY LORD HELL NO...

This Might Be The Scariest Trail In The World. But You’ll NEVER Guess Where It Leads. Unbelievable.
We hope you’re not afraid of heights, because this even made our palms sweat. What you see below is a mountain in China called Mt. Hua Shan. At its base, you’ll find a gigantic set of stone stairs, called “the Heavenly Stairs.” These stairs go so high up the mountainside, it’s hard to see where they end. If that wasn’t enough, the precarious stairs lead to the world’s most dangerous trail, the Hua Shan plank path. The plank trail leads high up the Hua Shan mountain just outside the city Xi’an. No one will force you to wear safety gear, although it’s strongly encouraged. The trail itself is dangerous and stunning, but what is at the top will really shock you.
Here's just part of the trail:

I think I speak for a good number of people when I say "AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE". Now, look. In my younger days I painted houses for a living. First as one of those "Student Painters" (which is a polite euphemism for "college kids that will spill paint all over your azaleas") and then later as a freelance painter (a polite way of saying "some dude with a pickup truck, a ladder, and no fear of heights or spiders"). I've been up three stories in the air on a ladder with only one leg actually touching the ground. I've "walked" my way along the edge of a roofline because I was too lazy to climb back down and move the ladder.

But that? Oh bloody hell no. Not for what's at the top, nope. I might be tempted if there was a really excellent resort waiting for me, where I could relax for a few months while native island girls attended to my every venal need and want. But for a beverage? I don't care if its the Holy Grail itself, you're not getting me on a rickety collection of boards thousands of feet in the air nailed together by starving peasants. Sorry Charlie.

I'll just to Dunkin Donuts and get a large regulah, thank you all the same.

That is all.


Mopar said...

not for all the tea in China!

Dave H said...

I'd do it if I thought the wood was in good shape. I put a lot of strain on deck planks.

Evyl Robot Michael said...

I'd do it.

In a kilt.


Ted said...

That trail is part of a large complex of trails. The area is the basis for the whole school of Chinese Landscape pairings of mystic mountains.

One thing that the story fails to mention is that the paths are constantly in and out of the fog and mist. So not only can you frequently not see the edge of the cliff or tell how high you are off the ground but everytng is wet and slippery as well

Ted said...

Paintings. Not pairing.

Damn iphone spell check

ASM826 said...

"I've been up three stories in the air on a ladder with only one leg actually touching the ground."

I'm having trouble imagining this, Stretch, do you have a picture?

Geodkyt said...

You have your geography a little wrong.

That trail is located in Nopeville, in the Nofrigginway Province of Nopistan.

Stretch said...

This climb seems a tad safer.
And closer too.

Jim said...

I'd say a BASE jumper's parachute would be an essential bit o' safety gear?

Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

PJS said...

Maybe if there was a tequila house at the top.