Animal Advocate Proposes Bulletproof Vests for Deer
With the great East End deer cull looming closer every day, one local animal advocate has been working double time on a solution he believes will protect the ruminant mammals from sharpshooters’ bullets.
Since learning that the Long Island Farm Bureau and local officials plan to have thousands of area deer killed by federal sharpshooters, Manny Fabrele, a retired Marine Corps Scout Sniper and Montauk resident, said he’s labored tirelessly to develop and mass produce a bulletproof vest for the animals. “I’ve seen what happens at the other end of a rifle,” Fabrele said, “and I’m not about to sit by and let that happen to these innocent creatures.”
This *has* to be a joke. It does. He's talking about freakin' deer, which are barely one step up the food chain from cows, folks. They're bringing in sharpshooters to painlessly cull deer, and he's trying to thwart that? He'd rather the poor ungulates starve to death or were hit by cars? This is his version of humane? For an area to take the drastic step of inviting in professional shooters to reduce the deer population, the deer would have to be a significant danger to the community at large, either from vehicle accidents or disease.
Part of me hopes that this is, in fact, real. If so, I want one thing more than anything else in this world. Video. I want to see video of this sap trying to fit a bulletproof vest on a deer. How does he plan on accomplishing this goal? Is he going to tranquilize the deer first? Has he put any thought into the kind of trauma that knocking the animal out, putting a heavy vest on it that it can't remove, and then injecting it back into the wild? Will the vests be removed at some point in the future? I can't help but thing that adding all that extra weight and movement restriction is going to make these deer ripe for the harvesting from other predators.
Wouldn't that be a hoot? If he were to "save" the deer from the snipers only to see them fall in great numbers to coyotes, dogs, and other predators? Unintended consequences are a stone-cold bitch, and so is Mother Nature. I don't believe the deer are going to just stand there waiting to have a vest put on them, so I think he's going to have more of a struggle than he realizes. This means more stress on the animals he's trying to save, making them less likely to survive in the long run.
Why not just enjoy some tasty venison jerky and STFU?
That is all.