Family receives letter blasting their Christmas decorations because 'not everybody is Christian'
A Massachusetts family says they have received a letter from an anonymous scrooge blasting their Christmas decorations because “not everybody in the neighborhood is Christian."With my hand to G-d, folks, if I ever receive a letter like this, I will make it my life's mission to have Christmas decorations so loud and garish that alien cultures will fly to earth just to tell me to knock that shit off. I will personally seek out, purchase, and install giant neon creches with the baby Jesus in a gold lame Elvis suit dancing around with a naked Allah while Ganesh busts out a hookah just to offend as many people as possible.
The letter addressed to the Hunter family of Newton, Mass., which was postmarked in Boston and signed “your neighbors,” also called the decorations “cheap, tacky and kitschy.” Whoever wrote the letter urged the family to take their celebration indoors, Fox 25 reports.
In other words, I would aspire to this:
Shorter Jay: Fold it until it's all corners and cram it sideways, Grinch.
That is all.