Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Alrighty, What The Bloody Hell?

Seriously?

THIS is a Porsche???


The Porsche Macan. First off, it's got four damn doors. The Cayenne was awful. The Panamera was grotesque. This ... THING is an abomination to everything that Ferdinand Porsche stood for. It looks like a Mazda 3, only uglier - and three times the price.

I don't understand it, I really don't. You're expecting people to shell out $50K for something that looks like a Hyundai knock-off of a Toyota? Really? Now, it *does* have 340 horsepower under the hood - that much I can dig. However, it's got a 0-60 time of 5.2 seconds. That's fast - for 1988. In 2013, well, it's not so fast - The Subaru Impreza WRX STi can do 0-60 in under 5 seconds. For just a hair over half the price of the Macan. Sorry, so not impressed.

I dunno. I mean, Obviously there's a market for this, otherwise Porsche wouldn't have invested the time and money to develop the line. I suspect they were looking at the Range Rover Sport and thinking to themselves, "Hey, there's a lot of dumbass rich people out there willing to spend ungodly amounts on money on performance they'll never use. Let's get some of that stupid-people-money!" and in that vein, I salute you, money-grubbing whores of Porsche. You've done a fantastic job of separating stupid people from their money. Bravo!

Not only that, you've given the rest of us a convenient overpriced box to put said stupid people in so we can readily identify them!

That is all.

6 comments:

Weer'd Beard said...

Heh, at least my ugly Mom-Mobile was affordable!

Also since its not made by Germans, when it breaks it can be fixed by the dude up the street inside of 24 hours.

Ted said...

I have no problem with it. The half million Cayannes have kept the company afloat and allowed for things like the 918 which still is sold at a loss dispute a $850 K price tag and next years return to Le Mans. ..... And no doubt there will soon be a 500 hp GTS model that will be lots of fun.

So they can sell a bizillion to NJ housewives and LA posers for all I care. I'll continue to drive my GT3.

Armed Texan said...

I can only dream of having the kind of money that I can throw at such an ugly car which I can park in my living room here.

Geodkyt said...

Hey, quit hating on Hyundai! They have better stylists than whoever designed this body! :-P

Ancient Woodsman said...

Remember, ol' Ferdinand did the final design work on the original Type 1 VW Beetle - not exactly the handsomest car in the universe.

Ed said...

Ferdinand Porsche also designed German tanks and other military vehicles:

http://www.nndb.com/people/142/000174617/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elefant