Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Not Without My Taco!

Sent in e-mail is this head scratcher...

Drunk Florida Man Tries to Use Taco as ID After His Car Catches Fire at Taco Bell
Tacos are not recognized as legal forms of identification in the state of Florida [insert bad joke about immigration laws here]. Matthew Falkner found out the hard way after he passed out drunk in the drive-thru of a Jensen Beach Taco Bell and his car caught fire [insert bad joke about Taco Bell's fire sauce or volcano taco here].

The incident occurred in the early morning of October 1 in Jensen Beach, according to the blog Off the Beat. Falkner, 30, had apparently decided to make a run for a fourth meal after downing some beers, and he somehow made it all the way to the fast-food joint in his Chevy pickup, placed his order, and received his taco before falling asleep.
If you've ever fallen asleep at the drive-through because you were too drunk to continue, you might be a redneck. If you've ever presented a taco as a form of ID, you might be a redneck. I like how he waited to get his food before passing out - priorities, man! Had he simply pulled out of the drive-through and into a parking space he might have gotten away with it, too...

I do have to wonder what this guy's driving record looks like. I seriously doubt he woke up at 30 and decided to go be a dumbass and get s**t-faced and drive. I would be willing to wager that he's got a long list of previous DUIs or other traffic infractions. It's hard to believe that someone having a BAC nearly triple the legal limit who was still able to get behind the wheel of a car and get to a drive-thru.

"Excuse me sir, I'm going to need to see your registration and your taco"...

That is all.

7 comments:

Dave H said...

If you've ever presented a taco as a form of ID, you might be a redneck.

Nope, a redneck would offer his beer or a photo of his grandmother for ID. That there is a completely new species you're looking at.

Ted said...

Anybody with a BAC that high who is still awake has had a great deal of practice and has built up a high tolerance. So if he doesn't have a long record it's not for lack of trying

Anonymous said...

I think donuts can be offered as an ID or is that an attempted bribe?

I'm pretty sure there is a Trunk Monkey episode of that.

Gerry

Mikael said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mikael said...

Gerry: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUIh2U7hFAo

Ken O said...

Growing up, making teenaged assaults on the $10 for all you can drink from 2000-0300 bars in Matamoros, the local PD left drunks alone if they managed to make it to Whataburger for a greasy burger.

Ed said...

Nah, if he was a real redneck he would have his dog drive the pickup truck.