Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Clanks When He Walks...

Giant brass ones on this dude...

Long Island Deli Worker Pulls Machete, Chases Away Armed Robber
A New York deli worker pulled a machete from under his counter and chased away an armed, masked gunman who fired a shot at the wall as he demanded money, police said.

Police on Long Island say the gunman entered the Stop & Shop Deli on Crooked Hill Road Sept. 25 and fired his silver .22-caliber pistol as he ordered the worker to stuff his Air Jordan backpack with cash.
The worker apparently chased the dude out of the store and through the parking lot. Armed with a machete. Against a gun. That's pretty impressive right there, I have to admit. Not many people would go on the offensive against a (marginally) superior weapon. I know I'd sure as hell be reluctant to take on someone armed with a gun if I only had a lawn care implement...

Here are the take-home messages as I see them:

1. People will not f**k with you if you are bugnuts f**king crazy.
2. The "just give them what they want" crowd can fold it until it's all corners and then cram it somewhere the sun doesn't shine. Someone threatens your life for any reason, even under the pretext of getting money that they didn't earn, you are justified in taking all actions possible to preserve your own life.
3. Guns are not magic talismans. Even though the robber fired a shot, which would indicate that the firearm was indeed real and loaded, the clerk still gave chase. The robber was not prepared to take a life in the commission of his crime, and it seems that he was relying on immediate subservience simply because he had a gun. When that failed, he panicked and went into full HOLY S**T mode.

I guess we finally know the proper caliber for robber - Cold Steel...

That is all.

Another dispatch from...
(image courtesy of Robb Allen)

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

2 thoughts on this:

1) The deli worker will probably get fired for practicing "self-help"...
2) The robber is lucky that guy didn't catch up to him ...

Anonymous said...

Machetes never run out of ammo.
Machetes never suffer a malfunction.
Machetes get hot ladies like Michele Rodrigues and Jessica Alba.

Gerry

Dave H said...

Huh. My zombie apocalypse mantra is "blades for zombies, bullets for survivors." But I guess a blade is good for both.

Seriously though, this outcome is pretty good. The clerk doesn't have to deal with the weight of having shot someone on his conscience, but he still cured the goblin's constipation.

Michael W. said...

If you've gone to cold steel, The proper mantra is:

No quarter asked or given......

Dr. M.

Chris said...

Lots of edgy humor here, but I think the point is that you fight with what you've got. Toujours l'audace, and all that. (Yeah, I realize that a quote in French urging a go-for-it attitude is very nearly oxymoronic, but the sentiment is good. As Heinlein pointed out, "People say it's better to be a live jackal than a dead lion. But it's even better to be a live lion, and usually easier."

Mike_C said...

Good God. Glad it ended well, but boy could that have gone sideways.

1. True, unless they are also bughouse nuts themselves. In that case all bets are off.
2. Yes.
3. Agreed, but it's amazing how many people think they are, isn't it. I don't think I've met a single gun grabber type who doesn't think so.

Geodkyt said...

Bonus points if you scream out, "I'm a gonna cut out your liver and EAT it!" while chasing the robber.

Or giggle hysterically.

Don't half-ass it, go full on bugnuts crazy, for maximum effect.