Friday, August 30, 2013

Just For The Record...

Dear "Pimsleur Approach"...

I haven't the faintest idea if your technique for teaching someone to speak a foreign language is good, bad, or indifferent. What I do know is that the way your company sends a constant stream of spam e-mail to every single account on the planet tells me everything I need to know about you and then some. Your complete and utter disregard for anything even remotely resembling e-mail etiquette, combined with the creeptastic pictures you ad-spam everywhere, mean that your company falls to the very bottom of the list of "companies I will do business with", somewhere in the vicinity of "idiot landscapers who park their trucks in the road around a corner on a hill" and "companies that exist only in James Bond movies for the sole purpose of world domination".

In short, as the expression goes, I wouldn't piss on your company if it were on fire. Before I used your product to learn a new language, I would convert to Hinduism, wait until I died, and then hoped to be reincarnated as someone native to the country whose language I wanted to speak. Your incessant, unwanted, and intrusive advertising assault has utterly ensured that the only way you would ever get me to use your product would necessitate men with arms the size of tree trunks holding guns to the heads of my loved ones.

In closing, please die in a fire.

That is all.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Democratic national committee keep sending you spam mail asking for donations?

Jennifer said...

Don't sugar coat it, Jay. Tell us how you really feel.

Daniel in Brookline said...

That's what I wanted to say, but Jennifer beat me to it.

If I find any free Pimsleur materials, Jay, I'll save them for you. You need new range targets, right?

TOTWTYTR said...

They must like you. I have over 2,800 emails in my spam comments folder and I didn't see one from them.

Just don't give them my address, thanks!

David said...

Um...what he said.

Me, not you said...

Yeah, that!

Thanks, Jay!

GreyLocke said...

Yes as Jennifer said, you're holding something back. Let loose the inner Jay. Let the Neanderthal brain come forward and say what you truly mean.

:)