Monday, July 1, 2013

Save Us, NannyOne Bloomie!

Sweet baby Jesus, this man is deranged...

Bloomberg to urge Cuomo to veto bill to allow sparkler sales outside of NYC over terror target fears
It could spark terrorism!

Mayor Bloomberg will urge Gov. Cuomo to veto legislation that would legalize the sale of sparklers outside New York City, arguing that terrorists could resort to using even kiddie fireworks to ignite a bomb. And that’s a risk not worth taking, City Hall officials said.
Sparklers. He's concerned about sparklers, folks. I think we can start making inquiries into Hizzoner's mental health here. There's more pyrotechnics in a box of matches, and yet this Nanny State Don Quixote is tilting at the ZOMG TERRORIST windmill. He points to the existence of one attempt - one failed attempt, mind you - in NY as the reason for banning sparklers. You know, kinda like why the NSA is listening in on our phone calls - so they can giggle over salacious calls home from our troops while ignoring calls made to Chechnyan terror cells.

This is the kind of company Bloomberg keeps, folks.

I think, deep down, there's a whiff of the Puritanical hidden inside that rapacious nanny stater. Anything that so much as hints at fun, Bloomberg wants to ban away - trans fats, large sodas, cigarettes, and now sparklers? Fourth of July staples that are routinely given to toddlers because they're so innocuous? I think that Mikey is positively terrified that someone, somewhere, somehow, might be enjoying themselves.

I started digging into sparkler-related injuries, and believe me, you do not want to look for this. Not because it's gruesome - it's pretty much the standard burns you see when people mess with fireworks - but because the sheer dumbassery on display hurts my head. Try this:
“We try to work with local fireworks vendors to make sure they will not sell more than one or two boxes of sparklers at one time.”
Right. Because the problem is that those EEEEEEVIL fireworks vendors sell MORE THAN ONE BOX OF SPARKLERS. Not that people are, by and large, dumber than a box of rocks and need adult supervision to handle anything more complicated than a tennis ball.

The stoopid - it burns!

That is all.


Dave H said...

The stoopid - it goes way back. You'll note that sparklers are already illegal in New York State. I was flabbergasted when I moved here from Ohio and discovered that. And I don't flabbergast easily.

There was a bill to decriminalize sparklers that passed the legislature a year or two ago. In that bill, sparklers were to be made legal for sale everywhere in New York except for cities with a population of over 1 million. (Which is pretty much just NYC.) The governor gave it a pocket veto then. I imagine he'll shoot it down again this time.

Phssthpok said...

Not that I am in any way defending Teh Stupid, but there is at least a small modicum of validity for concern over simple sparklers:

(I debated on posting this, but you know...if *I* can can find this on youtube, then anyone can, and it's not like it's a secret either.)

JFT said...

Glad someone posted before me, as I debated as well. From personal experience, a four-packer was enough that we never went beyond that. I can't imagine doing what those guys did in the video. Actually, a guy managed to Darwin himself and blow the deck off several years ago:

Thus leading to this disclaimer: My lawyer wishes me to convey that the heretofore activity was performed while being legal in the jurisdiction of residence.

The Scribbler said...

The stoopid... It burns! quite literally in this instance.