Bloomberg to urge Cuomo to veto bill to allow sparkler sales outside of NYC over terror target fears
It could spark terrorism!Sparklers. He's concerned about sparklers, folks. I think we can start making inquiries into Hizzoner's mental health here. There's more pyrotechnics in a box of matches, and yet this Nanny State Don Quixote is tilting at the ZOMG TERRORIST windmill. He points to the existence of one attempt - one failed attempt, mind you - in NY as the reason for banning sparklers. You know, kinda like why the NSA is listening in on our phone calls - so they can giggle over salacious calls home from our troops while ignoring calls made to Chechnyan terror cells.
Mayor Bloomberg will urge Gov. Cuomo to veto legislation that would legalize the sale of sparklers outside New York City, arguing that terrorists could resort to using even kiddie fireworks to ignite a bomb. And that’s a risk not worth taking, City Hall officials said.
This is the kind of company Bloomberg keeps, folks.
I think, deep down, there's a whiff of the Puritanical hidden inside that rapacious nanny stater. Anything that so much as hints at fun, Bloomberg wants to ban away - trans fats, large sodas, cigarettes, and now sparklers? Fourth of July staples that are routinely given to toddlers because they're so innocuous? I think that Mikey is positively terrified that someone, somewhere, somehow, might be enjoying themselves.
I started digging into sparkler-related injuries, and believe me, you do not want to look for this. Not because it's gruesome - it's pretty much the standard burns you see when people mess with fireworks - but because the sheer dumbassery on display hurts my head. Try this:
“We try to work with local fireworks vendors to make sure they will not sell more than one or two boxes of sparklers at one time.”Right. Because the problem is that those EEEEEEVIL fireworks vendors sell MORE THAN ONE BOX OF SPARKLERS. Not that people are, by and large, dumber than a box of rocks and need adult supervision to handle anything more complicated than a tennis ball.
The stoopid - it burns!
That is all.