Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Headlines That Make You Go "WUT?"

Wing-eating champ El Wingador faces NJ prison term
WOODBURY, N.J. (AP) — A five-time Buffalo wing-eating champion known as El Wingador has pleaded guilty to a cocaine distribution charge in New Jersey.

Gloucester County prosecutors say William Simmons pleaded guilty Monday to possession with intent to distribute. The 51-year-old Woodbury Heights resident faces a seven-year prison when he's sentenced in September. Prosecutors say they won't object if he applies for an intensive supervision program that could shorten his sentence.
This is actually different than the little blurb from the Comcast main page: Wing-Eating Champ Guilty of Cocaine Distribution. I wonder if El Wingador will be stripped of his title? I mean, you've got to imagine that cocaine would be viewed as a performance-enhancing substance when it comes to competitive eating... Extra energy, local anesthetic, etc.

Why do I hear this, though?

I'm El Wingador! I do cocaine! Aiyiyiyiyyiiyi!!!

That is all.


Anonymous said...

"I'm El Wingador! I do cocaine! Aiyiyiyiyyiiyi!!!"

I don't care where that originally came from, or who said it. I can't help but hear it in Weerd's voice.

I'm scarred for life...

Jay G said...

My work here is done...