Saturday, July 27, 2013

A Few Things...

...I got daytrippers to the left of me;
campers to the right;
here I am;
Stuck in traffic until noon...

-with apologies to Steeler's Wheels

Man o man. Traffic today is completely @$$tacular. I would have thought that things would have died down this far into the summer - the traffic today, on a random, non-holiday weekend, is worse than I remember from when I used to go up to Maine every holiday weekend in the summer - and that was pre-EZPass...

Just a few thoughts from being stuck in traffic for nearly an hour...

If you ride up my bumper and stay there until I pull into the right lane (once it is safe to do so), and then proceed to pull up next to me and then camp in my blindspot, you are an @$$hole.

If you stop for no reason whatsoever in the middle of the damn road, do not signal, do not do anything other than stop all forward movement, yes, I am going to use my horn. Don't look surprised that folks don't take kindly to your driving by Braille.

When the signs are up for three whole damn miles, it should not surprise you that the left two lanes are EZPass only. Don't slam on your brakes fifty feet before the split and then try to move over three lanes. At least not until I can get the Death Ray From Space operational.

Dear state transportation officials: whoever's bright idea it was to declare a random section of highway a "construction zone" despite having absolutely ZERO evidence of construction deserves to be removed from office. Preferably with a catapult.

Yes, I will go around you on the right if you camp in the left lane going 10 MPH under the speed limit. The only things you were passing were the signs that say "Keep Right Except To Pass".

There's a lot of stupid out there, folks - be careful and stay safe.

That is all.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

9 comments:

Dave H said...

RE: construction (-free) zones. A popular prank pulled by the highway department around here is to put up "right lane closed ahead" signs along the four-lane into the city, but not actually close the lane.

Old NFO said...

Yep, same down here today, 1.5 hours to go 40 miles going South on 95, 2.0 hours to come back those same 40 miles... And the little blonde ditz from NJ, well 'you' should have known better than to cut under the nose of the Semi hauling the D-11 dozer... Too damn bad you are stupid, and no I don't think that rear bumper is going to buff out of the back seat... Just sayin...

Stretch said...

I see a turret mounted weapon in Jay's future.

Eck! said...

When I got my first truck i was asked by my rather what options I'd like..

Dual 50cal on the hood wired to the horn. He just laughed.

Eck!

Brad_in_MA said...

Dear state transportation officials: whoever's bright idea it was to declare a random section of highway a "construction zone" despite having absolutely ZERO evidence of construction deserves to be removed from office. Preferably with a catapult.

Jeez Jay. I would have thought you'd at least use a trebuchet rather than a catapult. Although, the type of catapult called an onager would be particularly appropriate.

Anonymous said...

Had every one of those, except the EZPass thing. We're lacking that little annoyance called the Mass. Pike out here in America.

But I do have one you forgot. Eighteen wheelers passing each other. If are a truck driver, passing another truck, and you have a stack of twenty cars behind each truck, one of which is traveling 64.5 mph, and one traveling 65 mph, in an area where the speed limit is 75 mph, then you and the other truck driver are both automatically wrong. I understand that your companies put limiters and governors on your engines, preventing you from actually accelerating, or going over a certain speed. I also understand that you do not like staring at the backside of another 18-wheeler any more than we do. But if you are unable to pass, you are unable to pass, and should get out of the way.

To the trucker -being- passed, if the other fellow has committed to passing you, but can't quite get there, and does not have room to tuck back into your lane, it is incumbent upon YOU to slow down slightly, ALLOW him to pass, and then speed back up, clearing the traffic clot. Yes, you did not start the clot, but in this situation, often you are the only one able to clear it.

Truckers, we've all seen those idjits who have no consideration for the limitations of your vehicles, and it drives us nuts, too. Reciprocate by recognizing we don't like to be limited by your vehicle, and have some consideration for the rest of traffic.

notDilbert said...

As someone who used to be in the Highway construction biz, I'll say that the contract for that stretch of road, no doubt, has been awarded, and it's now waiting for funding ( ... Probably for the 2015 season....... maybe...... ).

Meanwhile, the Highway Dept Sign Crew went ahead with their portion of the work and earned their "attaboys" for putting up the signs for the new 'revenue enhancement zone'.

Chris said...

The shortest distance between any two points is . . . under construction.

lelnet said...

Every state in the union is convinced that they have the worst drivers in America.

It just happens that in Massachussetts, they're right. :)