Thursday, May 23, 2013

Oh California, You So Crazy!

Dear sweet fuzzy cthulhu...

EDITORIAL: California to ban fire
Since man first rubbed a pair of sticks together to make a fire, we’ve gathered around a campfire to cook food, enjoy good company and bask in the warmth of the glowing embers. Now the green spoilsports in Southern California want to take that all way, sending beach ring fire pits the way of the caveman.
The South Coast Air Quality Management District will decide this summer whether to order the removal of 850 bonfire pits from Los Angeles and Orange county beaches on the pretense that fire is bad for the environment. To support its position, the agency concocted a study concluding that an evening beach fire creates as much particulate matter pollution as a diesel truck driving 564 miles.
And I'll wager that all 850 of those fire pits, burning every single night, 365 days a year, don't put out a tiny fraction of the particulate matter caused by one forest fire. What's next, California, a ban on forest fires? House fires? Car fires? Are we going to sue Gaia whenever a lightning strike causes ignition of flammable material?

Combustion is unstoppable, folks. It happens. Fire is literally older than man; it was here before we climbed out of the primordial ooze, and it will be here long after our species has amused itself to death. Banning bonfires on the beach because it contributes to global warming climate change carbon footprint whatever they're calling it this week is a lot like banning eyedroppers because someone could poison an aquifer with it...

Or, like telling cities not to dump snow removed from roadways into the ocean - because there's no way that solid snow could EVER melt into water and flow into the ocean, right?

That is all.

9 comments:

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

California should ban Oxygen. Can't make CO2 without the O2. It would solve their so called global warming problem AND their Idiocy problem at once if there was no Oxygen in the state.

Dave H said...

"South Coast Air Quality Management District." In other words, "we only get paid to care about one thing, and it ain't you."

acairfearann said...

That is remarkably stupid.

As I am feeling contrary today, I would argue that telling cities to not dump road snow into rivers actually has some decent science to support it. Nothing like salting your trout to kill them all off. And yes the new 'salts' are just as lethal. Dump the snow a few hundred yards away, run it through some grass/sedge filters and no problem.

Crotalus said...

Well, if the PDRK can ban forest fires, then maybe we ought to combat global warming by banning those dreadful assault tornadoes, such as what hit Moore.

Remember that verse, "They that sow the wind will reap the whirlwind."? How is it that Washington is sowing the wind ad nauseum, but Moore reaped the whirlwind? Why didn't that damn thing track right up the Mall to the Capitol?

Anonymous said...

They only banned Man Made Global Fire. That's what gave the polar bears ulcers or something.

Haters!

Moon Beam

Not really

Old NFO said...

Moonbeam and his butt boys strike again... Give California back to Mexico and be done with it...

Anonymous said...

Archeologists do not know exactly when man learned to make, or make use of fire. Likewise they do not know when man learned to throw a piece of meat onto a fire and cook it, the same is to be said for beer. But what we do know is that putting the three together usually means good times.

Look what one small beach fire blossomed into, I am talking about burning man here. Today it is held in the black rock desert outside of Reno, NV and draws 10's of thousands of people each year.

BGMiller said...

California: Where Sanity and Reality have shriveled and died.


BGM

Daniel in Brookline said...

Arthur C. Clarke once wrote, in re pollution, that mankind's best efforts were no match for a single medium-sized volcano.

If we REALLY want to save Mother Gaia, we should tell her to knock it off with the volcanic eruptions. What is she thinking?!?

Seriously... how bad off would California need to be before we take her statehood back, call her a territory, and take away the self-rule they don't seem able to handle?