Thursday, May 30, 2013

A Stellar Example of the Genre...

Numerous folks sent me this story. Apparently, "Fisherman killed by beaver" is a headline that simply must go to Jay!

Fisherman dies as increasingly aggressive beavers attack people in Belarus
The fisherman wanted his photo shot with a beaver. The beaver had other ideas: It attacked the 60-year-old man with razor-sharp teeth, slicing an artery and causing him to bleed to death.

It was the most serious in a string of beaver attacks on humans in Belarus, as the rodents have turned increasingly aggressive when confronted by humans after wandering near homes, shops and schools.
He wanted his picture taken with a beaver. Seriously. Dude, shoot the damn thing and have it stuffed. Seriously. You do not approach a damn wild animal for a photo shoot. Use a telephoto lens, sure. Photoshop yourself in later. Or, I don't know, leave the damn thing alone. Animals, despite the best efforts of Walt Disney, are wild creatures. They are not cute and cuddly toys to be played with. Heck, even deer will attack if provoked.

It's also possible that the animal was rabid if it attacked that aggressively, which is another reason to leave wild animals alone. Oh, sure, it's a beaver, they build dams and such and swim in the water like cute little otters - but you've got to figure a set of incisors that can chew through a tree will make short work of a femoral artery. Unless, of course, it went for his neck...



And to think, I made it through this post without a single pun on beaver - not even a comment about his bite leaving quite the gash...

That is all.

6 comments:

Dave H said...

The article says people don't want to hunt the beavers because they're so easy to take near their dams. Since when does that matter? I know a bunch of good ol' boys in Ohio who'd be more than happy to sit by the creek with hunting rifles and a case of Labatt Blue and take care of the problem. They'd probably even supply their own ammo.

Brauista said...

you ALMOST made it through the post. Sheesh.

Jay G said...

You expected different? :)

ASM826 said...

The Indians used the incisors from beavers as wood carving tools. Hard, sharp, long lasting, one tooth could be mounted in a wooden handle and used like a curved knife.

We found a beaver skull when I was on a Scout camping trip some years ago and used the teeth to make a couple of these tools. Very effective and I don't think the TSA would want to you carry one on an airplane.

Jacqueline said...

One was hit by a car in the park where I worked as a wildlife caretaker. For some reason I was the most qualified to pick up dead animals...go figure. That sucker was heavy, at least 45 lbs of wet, dead weight.

I personally would not want to try to convice a live one to pose for a picture!

Steve Scully said...

Bring out the holy hand grenade of hanahock!!