Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Person From Poison Control Laughed...

So, last night I'm in the bathroom taking out my contacts, when TheBoy comes running in. He is visibly distraught and incoherent, and has a toothbrush in his hand. And a tube of Cortaid in the other.

Yes, my son brushed his teeth with anti-itch cream.

First thing I told him was to start rinsing his mouth out with water. I looked at the components and didn't see anything instantly horrifying, then checked online. A quick search on "used Cortaid for toothpaste" brought up a story very similar to ours, with the number for Poison Control (800-222-1222).

When Poison Control answered, I relayed what happened to the nice woman who answered the phone. As I said in the title, she laughed - apparently mistaking Cortaid for toothpaste is pretty common (as is Preparation H, she told me). She reassured us that the small amount he used - never mind possibly ingested - wouldn't be enough to harm him; he might have an upset stomach at the worst.

"Used a topical medication as toothpaste" - CHECK. These are the milestones they don't advertise in the children's books... It was used as a learning tool for "pay attention, boy!"; it appears to be no harm, no foul; and hopefully he'll not turn his brain off until *after* he gets into bed from now on.

But Lord help me I have no idea how I'm going to survive puberty and dating...

That is all.


15 comments:

Christopher Tyler said...

Guy goes into the Pharmacy and slaps an empty Preparation H package on the counter and says, "These things don't work for all the good they did me I could of shoved them up my butt."
Seriously though when in doubt call poison control that's why the are there and they don't mind at all.

LMB said...

You think it'll be bad when your *SON* starts dating.... don't you have a daughter?
Yeah, that'll be fun.

Dave H said...

I guess I was lucky. The guys both my daughters brought home were all pretty decent chaps. The girls were the scary ones.

eiaftinfo said...

My daughter got to #10 before she stopped - will celebrate their 12th anniversary in June.

ThBoy got to #5 before he stopped - gets married in 4 weeks.

Both great matches - enjoy the journey Jay. You're already ahead in the game . . . . no hair to loose!

Jennifer said...

Heh. My son ate flea soap when he was a toddler. And shampooed his hair with Nair another time. Don't count on the brain staying on, just saying.

ASM826 said...

SO what about the reverse? Using toothpaste instead of Preparation H? That must happen too. Minty fresh!

Paul, Dammit! said...

ASM826...it might sting, but your farts would smell awesome.

We joked about southerners using Kentucky Jelly on their toast. "It's Kentucky jelly! See the label? KY? Don't taste too good though!"

Anonymous said...

But Lord help me I have no idea how I'm going to survive puberty and dating...

When I see these type of posts, I always recommend the poster do this.

Go ask your Mom or Dad how they thought they would survive and then thank them for you raising. Tell them that you love them, but be prepared because they might laugh at you when you ask.

Old NFO said...

Oh yeah, amazing the stuff kids will do/eat... sigh

nate said...

may i recomend these http://www.copsplus.com/prodnum3066.php for dating and puberty

zeeke42 said...

I can relate. I put cumin in the iced latte I made for my fiancee this morning instead of cinnamon. Fortunately it was just sitting on top of the foam, so she scooped it off and drove on.

TOTWTYTR said...

Did I ever tell you about the day that I ran out of Right Guard and grabbed my son's roll on deodorant?

Only it wasn't, it was an Icy Hot roll on stick.

Hot armpits are no fun at all.

Maybe I should have called Poison Control to cheer the lady up.

Pam said...

In the middle of the night, instead of chewable Tylenol, I gave my small child her father's Zantac. She told me it tasted bad, so I checked the bottle again, and then called Poison Control. Sleep deprivation is not a great excuse.

Mike said...

This being America you are now required to sue Cortaid for not making it impossible for Theboy to use it as toothpaste. 'Cause you know it can't be his fault for failing to read the name on the tube.

Anonymous said...

I erm.... know someone... who may have mistaken a generic bottle of hand sanitizer on the nightstand for a generic (and similar looking) container of lubricant during a romantic moment with a spouse.

***Keep those separate or at least very clearly marked.***