Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Obviously, G-d Loves Stupid People...

... because he made so many of them...

Quincy Man Arrested For OUI After Urinating In Police Station Parking Lot
COHASSET (CBS) – A Quincy man was arrested for drunk driving after police say he pulled into the Cohasset Police parking lot and began to urinate next to his car while an officer was watching him.
On Easter Sunday, Cohasset Police received a cell phone call from a driver reporting that she and her husband were being followed by a male driver on South Main Street. The caller reported that the man was driving erratically, and when she pulled over so he could pass, he just pulled over behind her.
The woman called the police, who instructed her to drive to the police station. An officer was waiting in the parking lot for them, and sure enough, Einstein followed them into the parking lot. He then compounded his stupidity by getting out of his car and urinating in front of the officer. While possessing a controlled substance.

Folks, I can't write parody like this. If I made this story up yesterday, none of y'all would have believed it. You would have thought it to be an April Fool's Day joke, and a pretty poor one at that. Jay, no one's that stupid, not even in Boston. But, as I've found, very often when you think that human stupidity has hit rock bottom, some ingenous fool produces a jackhammer and keeps on digging.

Best part of the article, IMHO, had to be the Quincy Chief's comments:
Acting Cohasset Chief of Police William Quigley said that he could not remember an OUI arrest in the police parking lot. “When alleged drunk drivers come right to us, we are glad to accommodate them with a place to stay for the night,” said Quigley.

Heh.

Of course, since this is Massachusetts, the real joke is going to be the light sentence this moron receives...

That is all.

1 comment:

TOTWTYTR said...

OUI, First Offense in MA = Prohibited Person.