Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Hey, Cletus, Hold Mah Beer...

Some days, even more than others, I despair for the human race.

Circus elephant shot in drive-by shot in Miss.[sic]
TUPELO, Miss. (AP) — Authorities say a Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus elephant was hit by a bullet in a drive-by shooting in Tupelo, Miss.

Circus spokeswoman Melinda Hartline says the elephant was not seriously hurt Tuesday. She says no other animals were harmed.
What kind of mouthbreathing oxygen thief takes a potshot at a captive elephant? I mean, really. Now, it was most likely a handgun round, in which case it probably didn't penetrate very much, so the animal wasn't seriously hurt, but still. A drive-by shooting? On an elephant? I'm guessing that frosty malt beverages were involved. "Bet you can't hit that!" "The hell I can't!"

I'm thinking we have the makings of a classic beer commercial here. "It's 2AM. You just shot an animal the size of a dumptruck. It's [cheap beer name] time!"

That is all.

7 comments:

ShallNotBeInfringed said...

Just sprayed Miller out my nose...


....don't judge me, it's 5 o'clock somewhere ain't it!

wolfwalker said...

"What kind of mouthbreathing oxygen thief takes a potshot at a captive elephant?"

Possibly the kind that thinks if it goads a circus elephant into going on a rampage, the result will be laws against using elephants in circuses.

Now, I have absolutely no evidence that this mouthbreather was so motivated. But it is an answer to your question, and given some of the things that the true lunatic-fringe animal-rights activists have done in the past, it would not be out of character for them.

A much more likely answer is that it was just some stupid, drunk teenager, out on a joyride, who was too soused to comprehend that what he was doing was illegal, much less why it was wrong.

AuricTech said...

Paging Major General Sedgwick, white courtesy telephone...

Anonymous said...

I wonder how many times he missed before he hit it? My guess if 5.

Gerry

Anonymous said...

A really annoyed Elephant can do about 30 mph for the longest 30 seconds of your life. And in a car / Elephant contest your car loses

Thoose were lucky dumbasses

NotDilbert

Stretch said...

AT wins the Tam Award for obscure historical reference.

wizardpc said...

As a former resident of that area, I can tell you it's more likely T-Dawg and Ray-Ray were involved than Bubba and Cletus.

If we're going to engage in stereotypes, let's at least use the right ones :D