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Tuesday, February 5, 2013

I Believe That Handbasket Has ROCKETS On It...

Fresh off the BLNN (and seen on Facebook) is the latest in "Zero Tolerance" idiocy:

Colorado boy, 7, reportedly faces suspension for tossing imaginary grenade
A Colorado second-grader may be suspended from his elementary school after he disobeyed a key rule of no weapons, real or imaginary, when he tossed an imaginary grenade Friday during recess and went, 'pshhh,' to indicate that the imaginary device detonated, KDVR.com reported.
Alex Watkins,7, who attends Mary Blair Elementary in Loveland, said he was playing the game "Rescue the World." He plays the role of a heroic soldier out to rid the world of an evil threat.
Really? They ban IMAGINARY weapons? Are you kidding me? Please note that this is NOT Massachusetts. I thought it was bad when they told us that our son couldn't wear his Excalibur shirt to school because it had a picture of a weapon - I mean, hello, this is Excalibur, the legendary sword of King Arthur here; it's not like he came into school with a COD WOW shirt with machine guns and RPGs. Of course, I wore my Smith & Wesson polo shirt to the parent-teacher conference that year...

I wonder what they do if a kid picks up a stick - or, heaven forbid, points their finger. Does a teacher hover nearby, trying to gainsay the intent of said stick or finger? What if the stick is being used as a magic wand? Harry Potter shows us that wands can be weapons (sharper than knives) - would a child re-enacting "Fantasia" then be suspended? In their imagination, it's a director's baton - but since it *could* be a weapon...

This is zero tolerance taken to the bIZarRo world degree here, folks...

That is all.

12 comments:

Bubblehead Les. said...

Banning Imaginary Weapons. Right.

Now I know why Colorado Legalized Marijuana. Guess they had reached the Limit on the Number of Registered Voters w/o a Felony Conviction, so, to keep those Idiotic Nanny State Political Hacks in Charge of all aspects of Gooberment....

Reputo said...

That's strange. I know for a fact that my kids teacher is armed. And my kids play with "imaginary" and toy weapons all the time at school.

Oh, wait, my kids are homeschooled so that is allowed. My bad, I forgot that part.

Soap Box One said...

The parents should just send him to school and explain to the administrators that he'll be serving an imaginary suspension.

Soap Box One said...

I hope those administrators and teachers don't have the Colorado state seal printed on anything in their office. They'd have to be fired for violating their own weapons policy.

http://www.statesymbolsusa.org/Colorado/seal_colorado.html

Chris said...

Finger-pointers get suspended, too. In super-leftist Montgomery County, MD (suburb of DC, the county that once tried to ban smoking in private homes), a 6-year-old got suspended. OTOH, this zero tolerance crap has gotten so bad that a Washington Post writer brings the snark on it: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2013/01/03/6-year-old-boy-suspended-for-pointing-finger-like-a-gun-got-off-easy/

Of course, with the Maryland legislature now in session, and contemplating some even more restrictive anti-gun laws than we have already, they might ban finger-guns with more than two sub-fingers in the hand-mag.

Old NFO said...

O.M.G. I'm gonna go crawl in the bottle and pull the damn cork in after me... sigh

Anonymous said...

zero tollarnce = zero thought required.

Please stop the planet I would like to get off now.....

THOTpolice

Jason in MN said...

Dangit, Reputo beat me to it. We homeschool as well, and guns are allowed at our school. Of course, I live in Minnesota, where democrats are currently pushing new gun laws to make New York look like a bunch of pushovers, so I wouldn't be surprised if they outlaw guns in our homeschool as well.

Anonymous said...

When I was at Flat State U, the administrators put up "no weapons allowed" signs and stickers all over campus. A fellow grad student looked at the sign and inquired, "So, does this mean I have to leave my brain at the apartment?" I think we now know the answer.

LittleRed1

Andie said...

+1 to OldNFO, THOTpolice, and LittleRed1

Not sure I am really in the USofA anymore, feels more like old-time USSR daily.

Anonymous said...

Zero Tolerance is the same deficient mentality that:

Wants massive freedoms restricted
Enjoys being groped by the TSA
Drives a Prius, Honda Accord, or Subaru to save the environment
Spends money on anything PETA
Eats a vegetarian (vegan) diet
Buys everything fat-free, low sodium and gluten-free*
Wears Birkenstocks
Munches on granola
Has a constant runny nose (claims they are trying to rid themselves of mucus)
Complains about bad karma
Believes Feng Shui
Takes homeopathic remedies
Orders either a skinny fat-free Grande latte (claiming it’s the best coffee ever) or Chi Tea
Drinks bottled water
Hugs trees
Orders a garden burger in the restaurant because a hamburger contains everything bad (never mind the garden burger is cooked on the same flattop (griddle) as the regular hamburger)
Pulls in front of you on any roadway in rush hour, in a 45 mph zone, and drives 32 mph and shaking their fist at you.
Smokes Marijuana and claims it is not bad for you and helps with their pain.

Will have no compunctions using said “zero tolerance” and bad linguistics and terminology within public schools to reinforce that weapons are evil and that an unarmed society is a polite society. It is okay to believe like this in your home, but leave the rest of us alone.

*Gluten-Free diets are for people with celiac disease and not for the general population and most certainly not for weight loss according to a recent study. http://www.andjrnl.org/article/S2212-2672%2812%2900743-5/fulltext

MRQ1

Anonymous said...

My suspicion is that if you were to investigate these incidents, you would find that the common link is that all these children were white.

Due to this being the most litigious country on Earth, and due to the politics of race in this country, every time they have to give li'l Rastus (who is in the third grade and shaving) a time-out for pulling a knife on a classmate, or raping a teacher's aide, or getting caught dealing rock cocaine on the playground, they immediately run to find n number of white children to expel for pointing a finger and saying "bang." Where n is in principle at least equal to the white/black student population ratio, and is usually higher. If they do not do this, the li'l violent felon's mammy will put down her crackpipe just long enough to grab the Bluetoof, lawyer up, and sue the school district for "scriminations."

Such policies have already been approved by the only people whose opinions matter. You may recall that about fifteen years back, Janet Reno floated a trial balloon for a policy of racial quotas in prison sentencing. We're seeing the same idea being quietly implemented on a smaller scale--for now. Look for Eric Holder to start pushing it again Real Soon Now.

Of course, in a country where a certain group I shall not name, making up about 10% of the population, commits 80% of the violent crime, I predict that this bit of judicial whimsy is bound to have some highly entertaining consequences.