Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Difficult Times for Good People...

My #1 blogson is having, as he puts it, Life speaking in its Outside Voice. His mom's memory isn't what it used to be, and he's adjusting to the new normal. And it sucks. He won't - can't - say it, because he's a good person and he loves his mom. But I've seen, firsthand, what this loss does to the family of the person suffering. I wouldn't wish it on anyone - and certainly not someone like Borepatch.

I'm running into an opposite problem with Dad G. He's still as sharp as ever, but his body is betraying him. Arthritis in his hip has rendered him unable to work at more than a slow amble, and for a man who used to pull surly teenagers out of the back seats of cars with their seat belts still on, being unable to lift a grocery bag out of the back of his car takes a mental toll. He's bitter and angry over this betrayal, and takes it out on those around him.

It is a challenge to help someone that resents the hell out of needing help.

I don't have the eloquent words nor the big brain of Borepatch. I can only watch, helpless, from hundreds of miles away as someone I consider a good friend struggles with sizable trouble not of his own making. I can offer my support, a sounding board for ideas, and a shoulder to cry on if needed (and no, it is not against the Guy Code to suggest a man might cry over the deteriorating health of his mama). We are a community, those of us gun nuts and associated friends; we are a resource for people in need and friends that need helping. I continue to be amazed - but not surprised - by the generosity and kindess we exhibit on a regular basis.

You know, for a bunch of bitter clinging gun humpers.

Borepatch, you, your mom, and the entire Borepatch clan will be in my thoughts and prayers (for what that's worth, coming from a barely reverent shaved head biker gun nut and all). I can imagine that this is a tough time, and invite you to lean on your friends if you need to. Take an afternoon off and go to the range - it does a world of good, I know you know this. Never be afraid to pick up the phone, give a call, and say, hey, just wanted to say hi to a friendly voice.

And folks, if y'all happen to have some spare good thoughts and prayers, Borepatch could use 'em...

That is all.


LMB said...

Fuckin' A. It's pretty much the same thing I've got going on with my parents. And it really does hurt to watch them both kinda fall apart, and they know it. They hate not being able to do the things they used to.

Life can be kind of a nasty bitch at times, can't it?

Wolfman said...

A man that can't find honest tears in times of tragedy is not the kind to be like.

DaddyBear said...

It is one of the hardest things we can go through to watch those who were once invincible stumble.

Thoughts and prayers for both of you.

And Jay, we're more than a community, we're a tribe, and tribe means family. We're all out here for both of y'all.

Borepatch said...

Jay, thank you. I don't know how to say it, but thanks.

Opinionated Grump (Rich in NC) said...

Thanks Jay, Now I know why my Dad's sometimes as grumpy as he gets..."with the seatbelt on..."
You and Borepatch and your families are in my thoughts and prayers.
Rich in NC

Andie said...

+1 DaddyBear = this tribe I consider my extended family. Sharing a Browncoat (Firefly for those not familiar) quote again:

"When you can't run anymore, you crawl... and when you can't do that--you find someone to carry you."

We're here to help carry you whilst you carry your folks.

PJS said...

Actually, this is quite eloquent, Jay. And true. Many of us have gone through these difficult times with our parents recently or are going through them now, so your words resonate.