Man fatally shoots intruder
A HOMEOWNER in the Powelton section of West Philadelphia fatally shot a man who had broken into his house Tuesday night, police said.
Cops said the man was upstairs in his home, on Wiota Street near Spring Garden, when he heard the intruder break into the house through his kitchen door about 9 p.m. The intruder made it to the living room, with a spade shovel in hand, and started up the stairs to the second floor when police say the 37-year-old homeowner shot him three times in the chest.
Because this is a story about a defensive gun use, that's the entire article. Well, there was one line about the goblin expiring, but really, what you see above is it. The remainder of the space on that page is filled with news about the pending ZOMG Assault Weapon ban. Great placement, guys. A legal home defense shooting interspersed with ZOMG BAN TEH GUNZ!
Now, I don't know about the rest of y'all, but I can't for the life of me think of a reason for a burglar to walk through a house holding a shovel. It's not like he was going to dig up the living room floor and plant potatoes or anything. No, it's far more likely that he grabbed the shovel on the way in and planned to use it as a blunt weapon - and had that homeowner not had a firearm for protection, we might be reading about a dead homeowner, brutally beaten to death by a home invader.
I like the ending where the goblin takes three to the chest much better.
Dead Goblin Count: 359
That is all.