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Thursday, December 13, 2012

Epic Layers of Fail...

Gerry sends in this story, which really needs to be treated as a military application...

This Chinese electric Mustang F16 is not what you’re expecting
This is Yema Auto's new electric car, the Mustang F16 and clearly, it's not a Mustang as you think of it. It's an Audi. No, wait, it's not an Audi. What is this thing?

Underneath the A4-ripoff body you'll find the skeleton of an Austin Maestro (a compact hatchback made in the 80s and 90s). The interior apes Subaru Legacy because Yema Auto makes clones of the Subaru Forester.

Now, the name's not a big deal. They must have picked a random grouping of American-sounding names or something. No, what gets me is that this is a Chinese-made electric car. Chinese-made. Remember, the Chinese SUV had the ROOF RIP OPEN in the offset crash test. Their sedans came apart on impact. Their subcompacts fail to impress. Their light trucks, well...

I'm thinking that, given the current track record of existing electric cars and fires, combined with the generally lax attitude the Chinese take towards safety, that a Chinese-made electric car would be one step below weapons-grade fail. I'm thinking that any electric car made in China would burn down, fall over, and then sink into the swamp. And then explode killing everyone in a five square kilometer radius.

We can only hope that the lack of union thugs on the Chinese autoworker payroll keeps this menace from our shores...

That is all.

8 comments:

geeknotes said...

In my recent trip to China, which included some very high-exposure hiking trails with no safety measures whatsoever (or guardrails designed for the average Chinese, not 6' 1" laowai), the most frightening and dangerous things I did were all in Chinese automobiles. The vehicles are flimsy and the the drivers are rabid!

Larry said...

But the NEXT one...the NEXT one stayed oop...

ExurbanKevin said...

Meh. Still a better name than "Geoff" or "Hammerhead Eagle i-Thrust"

Anonymous said...

The next version will be the Tactical Raptor Chuck Norris Corvette available in either black or coyote brown for the US market.

The will sell a million of them.

Gerry

Geodkyt said...

Will the seats be Cordura with Fastex seat belt buckles in the Tactical Raptor Chuck Norris Corvette?

lelnet said...

No. That's not "one step below weapons-grade fail". That, to me, sounds like it's precisely _at_ "weapons-grade fail". Now the only remaining step is to figure out how to actually weaponize it.

At which point, of course, it converts automatically from collossal failure (as a car) to collossal awesome (as a weapon). :)

HerrBGone said...

The weaponizing involves the GPS navigation system. That is all that can be said on an open channel...

(Loss of signal after being shown on the approach to the Holland Tunnel? "Oops" in 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... )

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