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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Tuesday Addition

Coroner IDs robber fatally shot by Erie beer clerk
ERIE, Pa. (AP) — A coroner has identified an armed robbery suspect who was fatally shot by a clerk at a beer store in northwestern Pennsylvania.
Erie County Coroner Lyell Cook says the dead man is 21-year-old Patrick Atkins, of Lake City.
Dude walks into a liquor store (beer store, whatever) with a mask and a handgun. Clerk, not wishing to become another statistic of "store clerk murdered by street thug", turns the tables on him and shoots him in the chest with a .357 Magnum. Goblin runs out of the store without firing a shot, and is later found a short distance away rapidly assuming ambient temperature.

Don't stick guns in people's faces, don't get shot dead for your trouble.

Running probably made it worse - he probably hastened his own demise by making his heart and circulatory system work that much harder, thereby pumping more and more blood from the inside to the outside. Pro-tip for goblins: If you are shot by your intended victim and want to live, drop to the ground and, if possible, divest of your weapon. Running only accelerates the process of becoming deceased...

Then again, if you were smart enough to follow that advice, you'd be smart enough to not commit armed robbery...

Dead Goblin Count: 344

That is all.

Another dispatch from...
(image courtesy of Robb Allen)

4 comments:

Old NFO said...

Good riddance! :-)

Mopar said...

PA has some weird liquor laws. If I remember right, wine and liquor must come from a state run store, like in NH. You can buy beer at supermarkets and convenience stores, but you can only buy 2 six packs. Any more then that you have to go to a beer store. Beer stores only sell cases, not six packs. Really weird.

Sean D Sorrentino said...

Mopar is correct. Beer distributers sell beer in case and sometimes half case. Restaurants and bars may sell beer singly for on premises consumption or for take home. Wine and hard alcohol gets sold by the State store. PA's State Stores are pretty nice nowadays.

There are convenience stores that sell beer, but if you look carefully you will find that they also sell hot food and have tables to sit down and eat that hot food. Technically this makes them restaurants. That's how they can sell beer. You can buy as many beers as you like and put them in a carrier and take them home if you like. To any sane person that would be a mix and match 6 pack at the store, but in PA it's buying beer in a restaurant.

AK™ said...

As the ancient Tibetan Philosophy states "Don't start none, won't be none!"