Complaints About Turkey Attacks On The Rise In Brookline
BROOKLINE (CBS) – Neighbors are on the offensive in Brookline after what some residents are describing as aggressive turkeys.
“They were attacking the vehicle,” Karen Halvorson said outside her home in the Aspinwall Hill neighborhood.
After getting in her truck, a neighbor came and ran the birds off but it didn’t stop there.
Wait. Let me get this straight. You were attacked by turkeys, you got into a vehicle, and continued to be attacked? Really? You never thought to, I don't know, start the truck up and make some turkey paté? Honest? Look, I understand not everybody does the gun thing, especially in the Volksrepublik. But have some common sense, people. If a turkey is attacking you and you have the option of a 3,000 pound weapon, USE IT.
It's this culture of helplessness that's killing us. Folks that can' think for themselves that a 40 pound animal vs. a 3,000 vehicle is a no-brainer; that think the only entity that can save them is the (local/state/federal) government; that are too timid, afraid, or lazy to take control of a situation; these are symptoms of a larger problem. I don't know what the solution is, but cowering in a motor vehicle while an animal with a brain the size of a peanut is your master ain't in my plan.
We don't run from turkeys, folks, we eat them.
That is all.