Saturday, October 27, 2012

Disappointment...

So, TheBoy got the word this morning that he didn't make the travel team basketball league. 35 boys tried out for 22 slots, and he wasn't one of the boys chosen. He's upset about it; there are kids that made the team that he knows he's better than, that he's played on the court and feels that he is a better player than some that made the team. I don't know what the criteria was for making the team; I coached him last year and while he wasn't the best player on the team, he was pretty good. It also doesn't hurt that he's one of the tallest kids in the school...

So, he's sad and disappointed, and a little angry. This is one of the hard times for a parent; I want to contact the guys running the program and ask what the hell they're smoking - but I know from running competitive programs that they have their reasons for choosing, or not choosing, the players they did. I know TheBoy, and he was lukewarm at best about trying out. If he showed up and was fooling around, goofing off to get laughs from the other kids like he is known to do, I absolutely don't blame them for deciding to leave him off the roster.

Part of me wants to contact the coaches and just ask why TheBoy didn't make the cut. I'll be coaching his intramural team this year, and I can work with him to improve those areas. I'm reluctant to do this for two reasons: If there's a "political" reason (like, say, the coach's kid made the team despite having inferior skills), then nothing I say is going to make a difference; also, TheBoy is quite sensitive to "mom/dad interfering", and he has asked us not to contact the coaches on his behalf.

I'll respect that, and I'll work with him this year to improve his skills for when he moves on to the middle school and they have team tryouts. Part of it has to do with paying attention and listening to the coach's instructions - but that's something that applies across the board. We'll do what we can to further develop his skills, and with maturity, he should grow into a decent player. But right now, it's about having fun and learning, and we'll be doing that first and foremost.

And, much like the other sports teams around here, there's always next year.

That is all.


9 comments:

Dave H said...

You're a good dad, boss. I think the hardest time I ever had helping raise the kids was in just that kind of situation. But no matter how much we wish otherwise, we know our kids have to learn to deal with the disappointments - even the undeserved ones. At least that's what I kept telling myself.

ZerCool said...

Sounds like you're doing it right to me... and I think this is pretty telling: "he was lukewarm at best about trying out". As a coach it's pretty easy to tell when someone isn't putting forth 100% effort.

Any number of things come in to play at that point, and as a coach stuck between two players who put in the same showing at a tryout - if one is giving 100% and that's the best he can do, and the other is putting in 80% but won't try harder... well, I'll take the one with the right attitude every time.

But you know all that, because you're raising him right. Keep doing what you're doing.

Turk Turon said...

You're a GREAT dad!

Weer'd Beard said...

I think a good growing exercise is to have HIM contact the coach.

If he does it via email make sure to preview it for 100% professionalism.

Its one thing to be disappointed, its another thing to do everything to address the situation.

Old NFO said...

You're doing the right thing. He WILL experience failure, we all do. Make it a learning experience for him!

Armed Texan said...

Weer'd Beard beat me to it. He's old enough to contact the coach himself and politely ask what he could improve on to make himself a more attractive pick (for next year or for some other playing opportunity).

bogie said...

WB is spot on. He should the coach for information on what specific areas he needs to improve on.

Anonymous said...

+1 on dealing with the news.

Asking for what he needs to work on is a great idea.

Remind him Michael Jordan didn't make the cut on his first high school basketball team.

Gerry

Geodkyt said...

Weer'd for the win.