Friday, October 12, 2012

Disappointing...

Okay, so when I saw the headline, I thought this article might be good for laughs:

Craziest excuses for calling in sick
NEW YORK (CNNMoney) -- One employee said she couldn't come to work because her dog was having a nervous breakdown. Another said he forgot he'd been hired. A third was upset after watching The Hunger Games.
None of those are what I'd consider crazy, just kinda stupid. I was expecting excuses like "I was sold into a white slavery ring. I'll be in on Monday" or "There's a van parked outside my house with 'Flowers By Irene' on the side". A dog having a nervous breakdown? Meh. I've heard of someone calling in sick because their kids' guinea pig passed on and they were holding services; that's at least as "crazy" as a harried hound...

What's the craziest excuse you've ever heard (or used!) for calling in sick to work?

That is all.

21 comments:

Bubblehead Les. said...

I was able to get out of some Finals one Semester when a Water Leak from the Dishwasher soaked through my Floor so bad that we had a Ten by Ten Hole down to the Basement. Does that count? BTW, I think I still have the Pictures.

Ritchie said...

One Massachusetts winter, my boss called to say he would be late because his car was frozen to the ground. Later, I bought the car, an Alfa Romeo 1300 Spyder, and next winter the same thing happened to me. Low torque mini-motor combined with natural rubber tires.

zdogk9 said...

A friend drove about 70 miles down the coast to go surfing, The surf was perfect so he called his boss and said he'd been tossed in jail for three days, boss drove down to bail him out,

harp1034 said...

A guy I worked with saw a black cat run across the road on his way to work one Friday the 13th.
He slammed on the brakes, turned around ,said God damn, the Hell with and drove back home. I took the call when he called in and told the story of the black cat.

Dave H said...

Dad worked with a guy who was mortally afraid of spiders. (He kept a .38 loaded with shotshells nearby when he was working in his basement workshop. Used it once or twice too.) The guy came to work one morning and walked into a web that an ambitious arachnid had spun between two bushes. He was so freaked out he had to go to the ER and be sedated.

TommyG said...

A coworker once called in that his Dad had died. When we called to ask about arrangements the phone was answered by his Dad. The boy was in Florida. After talking to his Dad for a while and explaining the situation he told us not to bother with firing his son that he would take care of that personally.

Anonymous said...

There was a woman who had worked with some of the my coworkers at big defense company. She always left the same message when missing work.

"I've got the diarreha."

No more, no less.

The line became so famous we stuck it in briefings slides at work.

Gerry

DaddyBear said...

Had a co-worker in the Army who called our squad leader one morning to explain that he and his wife were trying to have a baby and she expected to ovulate that morning, so he was going to stay home and "help her make a baby".

BobG said...

I worked with a guy once who called his supervisor and said that since he had woken up in a good mood and didn't want to ruin it, he was calling in well.

On a Wing and a Whim said...

I have called in late on account of moose. When 2000 pounds of easily irritated hooves and horns has decided that my freshly-shoveled sidewalk is a better place to stand than deep snow, I'm not going to try to get near the wild animal to try to get to my car.

GreyLocke said...

Does getting your head bounced off a sliding glass door count? I walked into an automatic door at the store, I was reading a really good book, (John Steakley's Armor if you're interested) and wasn't watching where I was going. I had a knot about the size of a golf ball on my forehead for about a week and missed 2 days of class.

Sidney said...

I had a coworker who called to say they could not come in because the sump pump in the basement had caught fire and they where cleaning up the house for smoke and water damage.


I asked if they wanted me to make up a better excuse for that boss than that the water pump in the basement sitting under 3-12 inches of water caught fire. The said no they would stay with the one they had.


The next day they brought in pictures of the burned out sump pump and the firefighter crew that removed it. :-/ You just can't make this stuff up.

Glenn B said...

The absolute best and craziest sick leave excuse I have ever heard, even if only fictional, can be heard here:

http://ballseyesboomers.blogspot.com/2011/03/best-sick-leave-excuse-ever-leave-it-to.html

If you have never heard it, it is well worth the listen.

All the best,
Glenn B

Larry said...

"The power is out and I can't get my car out of the garage."

This poor lady had never been told the purpose of the rope that hangs down from the electric garage door opener.

The Neophyte said...

I haven't heard anything that crazy but the wife told me someone called in at her place of employ because their gums were bruised from giving their boyfriend a BJ

Anonymous said...

Herding shopping carts from the grocery store parking lot one fine spring afternoon I realized how much I would rather be at the river. Struck by inspiration, I walked up to my manager grimacing and displayed my right thumb which was folded back along my wrist and claimed to have injured myself while performing my duties and had to go to the emergency room. Judging by the look on her face she had never seen a double joint before.

2dogs

notDilbert said...

When I Lived in Colorado, we would go always go to Vail for day Skiing if the weather predicted big snowfall. That way we could call in Sunday night and explain that the I-70 Passes were closed and we were "Stuck in Vail" untill the roads were open. (or the knee deep powder show was tracked - out)
It was a perfectly acceptable reason in Denver for missing a day or two of work.

Skip said...

Had a guy working for me that must of had eleventy granmas, and every one of them died on Mondays.

Evyl Robot Michael said...

I once had a coworker who called in because he passed out while having relations with his wife in the shower. When asked about it later, he explained that with the exertion, the heat and steam just went to his head. He never lived that down. LOL!

Bruce H. said...

Years ago the Washington Post ran a "best excuse for missing work" contest. The winner was, "The voices told me to stay home and clean all the guns."

the band-aid bandit said...

my go to excuse is explosive diarrhea. My boss even asked for pictures..........once.