Code Enforcement Officer Walks Into Home
Monday morning, Erica Masters was sleeping in her bed when Columbia County Code Compliance Officer Jimmy Vowell came to serve a violation notice for her grass being too long. Erica caught the whole incident on tape."He let himself in and actually came through the house and into my bedroom. And yelled at me to wake me up, to let me know that I needed to come back outside and sign the violation notice."
Here's the best part: He wound up losing his job over this! Now, granted, it was because he lied through his f**king teeth about it and got caught, but he's still an ex-employee. You see, Masters filed a complaint about the incident, and the fat tub of goo denied entering her house. One small problem: Masters has video surveillance at her home. He filed a false statement to a superior about not entering the house, and that was grounds for termination. Isn't that a kick in the teeth? Not waltzing into someone's home over uncut grass, but lying about it.
Granted, he *is* lucky to be alive. Someone who is not supposed to be inside your house starts yelling at you, even here in Massachusetts you'd be fully justified in sending them straight to hell. I wake up to find someone who doesn't belong there yelling at me, they're going to see how fast they can run before I can access one of the three 45s near the bed (yes, I have three. Why? BECAUSE G-D'S OWN PISTOL CALIBER). Now, granted, I keep my doors locked (it's just plain good sense), and I do not recommend leaving doors unlocked for any reason, but still. Walking inside the house was one thing. Walking INTO HER BEDROOM DOORWAY is a whole new level of stupid.
And lastly, ARE YOU F**KING KIDDING ME??? The county can give you a fine because your grass is too tall? I swear on a stack of MidwayUSA catalogs that if my town ever enacts an ordinance like that, I will custom build a lawnmower that cuts the grass to 0.1" less than the maximum height and mow twice a week just to waste their time. Not only that, but they have apparently an entire department devoted to checking people's lawns for compliance? I certainly hope that every street in that county has a sign at either end and zero potholes - and spotless trash cans. If they've got enough free cash lying around to support "compliance officers", that had better be one with-it town.
So: to recap. Town with way too much extra money and a serious case of busybodyitis hires Cletus the peeping Tom as their compliance officer. Cletus waltzes into someone's house, walking up to their bedroom to tell them they have to sign a violation, and only gets fired because he lied about entering the house. Does that about cover the story? I wonder what would have happened if Cletus had fessed up to entering the house? A censure? Maybe a demerit? And he'd be right back to peepin' the next day.
Unless, of course, the next time he pulled that stupid stunt the homeowner had a nice Mossberg...
That is all.