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Monday, July 9, 2012

Guess It's My Turn...

Tam's usually the one to discuss her, ahem, unconventional dreams. Apparently I've been reading her too long - or the nachos and salsa I had shortly before bed came back to haunt me - because last night I had a doozy of a dream myself. It actually involved the Mistress of Snark, which in and of itself wouldn't be too much of a concern, except that she was like 10 months pregnant.

No, I don't know why. I also don't know why I wound up driving her to the hospital when her water broke. I do know that trying to explain to the myriad medical staff who greeted us at the emergency room that I was not, in fact, the pére of the family was on the difficult side - apparently even in my dream state I project a "dad aura".

The most surreal part - as though Tam giving birth at my local hospital isn't surreal enough - was sitting in the cafeteria at the hospital thinking about whether or not to blog the event. As though I'd have trouble with that decision, right? Now, I'm not a complete farmer - I know that I'd be taking my life in my hands if I posted pictures, but little Tam Jr.? Who could resist that?

All I know is I need to lay off the habaneros right before bedtime...

That is all.

12 comments:

PA State Cop said...

A preggers Tam. Tall, nordic Scandahovian Shield Maiden. With a Spear. A'm getting the giggle sthinkin of you holding her hand and doing the breathing thing. You're a dead man. ;)

jetfxr69 said...

Jay!! Inside voice!!! Filter!!

And I second PA State Cop...you're a dead man.

Time to start running zig-zag, and random timing on that...

Bubblehead Les. said...

A Pregnant TAM? Something tells me after your Wife reads this post, that I'll be coming to the Jay G. MEMORIAL Blogshoot in a few weeks.

BobG said...

But where would she find tactical maternity clothes?

Anonymous said...

Having Tam as a mom, Tres Cool!

A combination of Sarh Conner and Ripley!

Gerry

Dave H said...

BobG: Are you kidding? You could hide an AK under some maternity tops. And the elastic panel in maternity pants is essentially the same thing as a Belly Band.

Then there's post-natal gear haulage: diaper bags, strollers, backpacks.

I wonder if they make a single-point baby sling.

Anonymous said...

So what did the kid wind up looking like?

A mini JMB?

Old Radar Tech said...

Oh, this is gonna be interesting.

Might be a good time to consider deploying your chaff and flares.

Ed Foster said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
.45ACP+P said...

Why run? You will only die tired.

Ed Foster said...

Thankee sir, for the security slice. And check your e-mail again for the latest threat :-)

perlhaqr said...

Better'n mine. I had a couple nights running where I kept dreaming about dead and dying children. I'm really glad that stopped.

I had a dream that included Tam and Bobbi once. It was a while back, so I don't remember too much about it, except for some reason they were here in Albuquerque (or a whole bunch of Albuquerque people were in Indy) and we were trying to bug-out from the location, but I couldn't find the stuff I wanted to take. Weirdest variant on the "I'm not prepared!" dream I've ever had.