Thursday, July 12, 2012

Articlelings? Storylets?

Got a bunch of snippets that weren't quite enough for their own posts, but I didn't want to ignore them completely, so here goes...

First off, Stretch keeps us up-to-date on the latest in the Je$$e Jack$on Jr. saga:

NBC News Report: Jesse Jackson Jr Is Found
“The congressman is receiving intensive medical treatment at a residential treatment facility for a mood disorder,” says a statement attributed to Jackson’s doctor.  “He is responding positively to treatment…”

The congressman’s office quickly added, “The rumors about him being treated for alcohol or substance abuse are not true.”
See, that's what happens when you abruptly vanish from the scene with no explanation. The rumor factory goes wild. Especially when no one believes that a US Representative could ever suffer from exhaustion... He's out in Arizona being treated for a "mood disorder". I'm sure it's pure coincidence that there's an alcohol treatment facility there...

This just in from the BLNN:
Sheriff Lee Baca is recalling about 200 official-looking badges that were given to politicians for use during disasters.The move in Los Angeles County came two weeks after federal authorities arrested three officials of the small suburb of Cudahy on bribery charges.

 Prosecutors handling the case released a photo of a woman in a nightclub holding two handguns and wearing a badge given to a councilman.
Nice. Real nice. For some bizarre reason, the police decided to hand out badges to politicians. Why? I don't know; maybe they ran out of chainsaws to give to toddlers... And then they show up as party favors to strippers. They should have given those badges to someone slightly more responsible, like a circus carnie...

Direct from the NRA's mailing list, Wayne LaPierre gave a speech in front of the United Nations:

Wayne LaPierre Fights for the Second Amendment Before the United Nations
On behalf of those 100 million American gun owners, I am here to announce NRA’s strong opposition to anti-freedom policies that disregard American citizens’ right to self-defense.

No foreign influence has jurisdiction over the freedoms our Founding Fathers guaranteed to us. 

We will not stand idly by while international organizations, whether state-based or stateless, attempt to undermine the fundamental liberties that our men and women in uniform have fought so bravely to preserve – and on which our entire American system of government is based.
 Amen, Wayne, amen. Kudos for keeping an eye on this. I mean, the UN has freakin' IRAN on this "council" - because, you know, Iran has America's best interests at heart...

Lastly, on the lighter side, Stretch sends in a story that shows it's not just Massachusetts that's filled with weenies...

Town Overrun by Turkeys Bans Feeding the Birds
Officials at a town that has been overrun by wild turkeys took matters into their own hands on Tuesday, making it illegal for residents to feed the birds. Anyone caught feeding the turkeys in Hainesport Township could be fined up to $2,000.

The township committee approved the ordinance during a meeting Tuesday night.

Because, you know, when the only tool you have is a hammer law-makin' device, every problem starts to look like a nail something that needs to be banned. Because some stupid city folk think that turkeys are nothing more than overgrown rats with wings pigeons, they have to pass a law. Gah. Does this town need a law against poking bears with sticks? Jamming forks into electrical outlets? Swimming less than 30 minutes after eating?

It just goes to show - stupid is universal.

That is all.


Dwight Brown said...

"And then they show up as party favors to strippers."

To be fair, Jay, I don't think it is clear that she was a stripper; she may just have been a random attractive woman. The LAT published the photo in question, and she was fully clothed. (She was also fairly attractive, at least from what I could tell modulo the black bar covering most of her face.)

Also, it may be worth pointing out that the badge she had belongs to a councilman who is currently under federal indictment for taking bribes from a marijuana dispensary owner.

(I've covered this a little on my personal blog, too.)

Anonymous said...

RE Jesse Jackson Jr.

I think he's just prepping the courtroom for his possible trial on trying to buy Obama's old senate seat.

Look Your Honor, I was sick and I have the paper to prove it.


ASM826 said...

That swimming after eating thing? It's bogus. If activity after eating caused cramps, wouldn't we all stay real still after eating rather than risk being doubled over by walking?

Dave H said...

If I found out I was Jesse Jackson's son I'd have a mood disorder too. That's not a family business I want to inherit.

When my daughters were eight and six I overheard them playing together one day. The older one said, "When I grow up I'm going to marry Michael Jackson." Then the younger one said, "When I grow up I'm going to marry Jesse Jackson!" I nearly choked.

Anonymous said...

Wait a minute; did I just see an article about wild turkeys being a problem? Are they not edible? In any sane world, the solution to an overpopulation of anything edible are logical (i.e. lax if there's a lot of 'em) game laws and hunters.