Monday, February 21, 2011

Coulda Shoulda Woulda...

Man... Criminals these days are getting dumber, aren't they? Mopar sends in the following knee-slapper:

Would-be robbers end up losing money as stickup goes wrong

Two men Thursday used an unloaded revolver to try to rob a Northland gun store, even though the clerk wore a shoulder holster with a semiautomatic handgun in plain view.

Not surprisingly, the holdup failed miserably. In fact, the robbers lost $40.

(emphasis mine)

Man, talk about a Darwin candidate:

1. Unloaded gun;
2. Gun store;
3. Clerk OPENLY CARRYING a firearm.

How much dumber could he have gotten? Maybe hold up a police station? A Northeast bloggershoot? I don't see how much more poorly this yutz could have chosen. Victim selection fail. Robbery venue fail. Armed robbery preparedness fail. FAIL FAIL FAIL.

And yet still, the clerk held his fire. If ever there was a situation where someone could not have been more justified in using lethal force, I can't see it. Gun stores, unless you live under a rock and have the situational awareness of a braindead gerbil, are generally only slightly less well guarded than the President. I have yet to frequent a gun store that didn't have multiple openly armed employees - much like the man behind the counter. Yet dumbo insisted on going through with his ill-fated scheme...

All truth be told, I prefer this outcome to a DGC addition - while it's always good when a goblin meets his deserved fate, at least the clerk is spared the messy and taxing task of administering a 230 grain lesson...

That is all.

8 comments:

Phssthpok said...

"How much dumber could he have gotten? Maybe hold up a police station? A Northeast bloggershoot? I don't see how much more poorly this yutz could have chosen. "


*cough*

http://www.snopes.com/crime/dumdum/gunshop.asp

Mark said...

This reminds me of the attempted robbery of a diner in St. Louis back in the 80's. Goblin walks past 3 marked St. Louis City PD cars, and several unmarks, walks in past 4 tables full of officers eating their 3rd shift lunch, pulls a knife on the cashier/waitress and demands money. She looks at him kind of weird as 4 officers with drawn weapons take him down and cuff him. I have never laughed so hard in my life as he said to the cops, "You off duty you can't arrest me."

Steve said...

I've been in that store. It was probably the owner, an older guy, fun to talk to.

The original story didn't mention the dolts had an unloaded pistol. There's a couple of geniuses for you.

mopar said...

The Darwin wannabes were trying to buy ammo for the holdup weapon, that alone would probably make most people suspect the gun might not be loaded. Then the brainiacs use a revolver, which is quite easy to see if it's loaded or not when it's pointed right at you.

Mikael said...

I can just imagine the clerk going "Unlike yours, this one is loaded" when he draws and points it at the goblin.

Mikael said...

I can just imagine the clerk going "Unlike yours, this one is loaded" when he draws and points it at the goblin.

Mikael said...

Oops, my bad for the double post, it told me the wv didn't match. Feel free to delete duplicate.

ambivalentskeptic said...

Not dumb per se, more of an attitude thing (mixed with desperation)..

Stay with me here for a moment. See, human beings have a inherent mental flaw. We ALL think that everyone (yes, everyone) thinks exactly like we do BY DEFAULT! It is only if we are taught differently that we understand otherwise. Frankly some people never learn or else they “know” but they never act on said knowledge. This is why the more asinine a person's ideas are the more he expects you to agree with them. Like gun control...

Now, watch the first few minutes of the movie The Crow. It's fiction but it has a very realistic portrayal of criminal behavior. The thugs have a pissing contest and long story short, they “bluff” each other with their guns. It's similar to dogs growling at each other for dominance. There is a large amount of “facing off” and looking dominant prevents people from challenging your dominance.

So if you have a low level thug who “gets by” via bluffing, well his ignorant ass will naturally believe that a gun in plain sight is a bluff. A way to look tough so no one messes with ya'.

Thus, the store clerk with an openly carried gun? All for show, he'll never reach for it. I mean, NO ONE is going to call a buff when you have YOUR gun pointed at them. Right?? Bueller? Bueller?


BTW, this explains why some thugs are so very violent to compliant or unassuming victims. After all, the less a threat you are, the less the other person needs to hurt you (right??) To avoid being threatening, the victims look weak. So they are treated as the weak are treated in that morally bankrupt culture; savagely. In short, the easier it is to hit you the harder they hit you.

Yes, violent criminals are really just bullies with guns.