Tuesday, August 3, 2010

How's That Expression Go?

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt? Something like that?

Smug mother Gisele Bundchen says there 'should be a law' forcing women to breastfeed for six months
As someone who was back modelling swimwear six weeks after giving birth, Gisele Bundchen's experience of motherhood is not exactly ordinary. But that hasn't stopped the supermodel deciding to share with us lesser mortals her insights on how best to raise children. The 30-year-old Brazilian reckons there should be a 'worldwide law' that new mothers should all breastfeed for six months.
I'm just curious how, exactly, young Nobel Peace Prize winner-to-be Gisele plans on enacting a "worldwide law"? Who would enforce it, the World Police? What would the punishment be for giving your infant formula? If they throw the mom in jail, wouldn't they be depriving the infant of breast milk and therefore running afoul of the law themselves? All this thinking makes my head hurt...

Look, Gisele, here's some helpful advice. People don't pay you gobs of money because they respect your opinion on world events. You are paid well because you conform to some arbitrary definition of "beauty" - which in your case is most certainly skin deep. Please refrain from offering further "opinions" on issues outside your sphere of expertise, which as far as we can tell includes walking in a straight line and hanging on the arm of athletes.

In other words, shut yer collagen-injected piehole.

That is all.


Lissa said...

I love the fact that folks want spanking to be outlawed and breastfeeding to be required by law. What's that about women's lib?

Lissa said...

Oh, and also -- would regular inspections of said breast-feeding be mandated? Say, video files to be submitted to the local Breastfeeding Mothers Videocenter (BMV)? (A million job applications come flowing in . . .)

Sabra said...

Yeah...no. And this coming from someone who managed to wean ONE kid a week before she turned three, and that was the youngest. (I've spent most of the last eight years wandering around with a kid or two hanging off my boob, in other words.)

Do I think all women should nurse for at least the year-long minimum recommended by the AAP? Yes. Do I want any branch of the government within any distance whatsoever of my nipples? No.

I had my first two daughters in a military hospital. I know the hash the government would make of breast-feeding. At my middle-daughter's first well baby visit a few days after her birth, the corpsman asked me how long each nursing session lasted. I told him "I watch the baby, not the clock." Poor guy had to go get help to fill out the form. I knew going into it with my first that newborns typically do not nurse 15 minutes per side every three hours. The powers that be did not.

And, hell, that's just the start of how screwed up an idea such a law would be.

David said...

My oldest and the twins that followed her would have all died or at least been badly malnourished.

After 2 months of significanly less than normal weight gain with our first child the doctor and my dear wife finally determined that not enough milk was being produced to sustain our child. Thank goodness for baby formula. With the twins we didn't wait 2 months to find out there was a problem and they discovered what baby formula was after just 2 weeks.

Anonymous said...

And that's why she's a model(life on the slow track) instead of having a usful productive job.

Paul, Dammit! said...

OK, superficial shot here, but being somewhat of an expert on the subject (of hot Brazilians, I mean, although I am a big fan of the life-affirming milk trucks) Giselle is neither particularly intelligent or beautiful, compared to a startlingly high percentage of Brazilian women. That being said, if she had been smart enough to say something even slightly approaching Sabra's comment, this wouldn't have made the news.

Again, however, who is the assbag who actually put this on the news? grrrr.